The Vegas Flea

The Flea is back kids...

2011-09-15T16:24:00.001-07:00

....stay tuned!!

MESSAGE FROM THE FLEA

2010-08-30T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hi folks-

As you've probably noticed, I haven't been posting much as of late. To cut right to the chase, there's a simple reason.

Call it an excuse, call it whatever, but the fact is this: I started a new job back in March. Ironically, it's a computer related job, which puts me in front of a computer 11 hours a day, 4 days a week.

However, there is very little time for social networking or any type of personal time on the internet, including this blog. It's not allowed, nor would I have the time if I could. The job's fairly demanding, as I've ventured into a lot of unknown territory such as programming and database administration, so that makes it that much harder.

What that translates into is my laptop never being opened for the 3 days I have off. As a matter of fact, some weekends, I just leave my laptop at work, as I know I won't be using it over the weekend.

What does this all mean? It means that if the Flea is not in front of a computer, he's not writing. Very simple. Sorry to break the news.

As I've mentioned before, this is not a "what I did today" type blog, it's me writing about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.

So, fair warning, things might continue to be sparse until if/when I come up with some type of creative writing routine that would allow me to find some leisure time in front of the computer. Until that happens......stay tuned.

TVF

The MWC Shuffle, Regarding Wyoming and the Other Scrubs

2010-08-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry for long layoff….

In any case, here’s something that’s been on my mind in reference to college football -which happens to be my favorite sport.

The Mountain West Conference has recently did the shuffle with Utah taking off to the PAC-10 and now BYU going Independent (it’s not official, but my sources say it’s a done deal). In the process, it’s added Boise St, Nevada and Fresno St.

A little background. The MWC formed in 1999 as an offshoot of the Western Athletic Conference, a best of, if you will. It included Wyoming, Utah, BYU, CSU and others. Since then, the MWC has been doing everything in their power to become a respected national power. It even added Texas football standout, TCU a couple of years ago.

Well, in short, a few schools did what they were supposed to do and upped the ante. And with each year since 1999 became better and better, getting the national attention they deserved (think Utah). Some schools however, fell behind by hiring some of the worst coaches D-1 football has ever seen. Think Wyoming.

Now teams like BYU and Utah have moved on. Leaving the rest of the scrubs to pick up the crumbs they left behind. Oh yeah, the MWC still has TCU (for now). I won’t count Boise St as an upgrade until they prove themselves by not having a cupcake schedule year after year. Adding Fresno and Nevada does nothing, as those programs have nothing on schools like Wyoming or CSU.

In my opinion, Wyoming and the rest of the MWC scrubs got what they deserved – a good ole’ boy mountain states Bush League. They can wallow in it for all I care. Step up to the plate or be left behind. It’s as simple as that. Morons.

Wise Old Man? Not Always

2010-07-28T10:45:00.001-07:00

I just turned 40 a few months ago. I was raised to respect my elders. And for the most part, I still do. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized something. And that is, just because a person has a few years on you, doesn’t automatically mean that person is any smarter or experienced.

Just to clarify, that doesn’t mean a 20 year-old should dismiss what a 50 year-old might have to say. As far as life experience is concerned, that 50 year-old could be the biggest idiot on the planet, but considering how many more years he or she has been here, that person has bound to have picked up on something worthwhile along the way.

However, for 25+ years, I’ve listened older men (men especially) tell me “I don’t know shit” for the simple fact that I was few years younger. This is statement is still thrown at me from time to time, regardless of my work experience, the relationships I’ve been in, my travels, my education, etc.

Dutifully for years I listened to what I was taught and subordinately took the beat down from older men telling me that I was an insignificant piece of shit, simply and blindly based on the fact that I was born a few years later than they were.

This was fine in my teens, mostly ok in my 20’s, but then I hit my 30’s. To cut right to the chase, I quickly realized in my mid to late 30’s that someone 10 or 15 years older than me doesn’t always qualify that person to be an authority on anything (despite what they may think). Often times, quite the opposite, especially coming from the person that’s always quick to point that they know more because of their age. That person generally turns out to be the biggest moron of the bunch.

I hope all of this doesn’t sound incredibly arrogant, as it’s not meant to be. As I still respect anyone that’s been on this planet longer than I have. But at middle age, and with my life experience, I don’t blindly believe someone knows more or is more experienced than I am simply because they’re older. Nope, sorry. Prove it.

I now automatically put up a red flag towards anyone that says to me, “How old are you?” in reference to my ability to solve a problem, make the right decision or my opinion about life in general.

Ok, now I will be a bit arrogant. Unless you’ve been in a war, I’d be happy to compare life notes with anyone, regardless of their age.*

*(This of course is dismissing anyone that’s been through some of the most trying experiences humans have to endure, such as life altering accidents, sicknesses, oppression, torture and death).

Largest Beetle in North America

2010-07-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

Besides home to scorpions, black widows, the Mojave Green (the deadliest rattlesnake in North America), Gila Monsters and god knows what else….we have the Palo Verde Root Borer bug, the largest beetle in North America.

I’ve seen two of these in the past week. The one in the picture is small. No shit. The one I saw yesterday was at least 6” long, and about 2” wide. I’d seen one a few days ago, it was big, but not as big. But after seeing this monster yesterday, I did some research to find out what it was. I guess they feed on the roots of Palo Verde trees, and generally stay underground, except when it get real hot. It was 113F yesterday, I’d say that’s hot.

Just another weird, creepy Vegas thing. You start to get used to it after a while.

Message Board Junky

2010-07-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

As much as I bitch about the recent “social media” craze (Facebook, MySpace, Twatter….sorry, TVF does not “Twat” for anyone..lol)……as much as I bitch about that stuff, I have to admit, I’m a bit of a hypocrite.

I’m addicted to message boards, virtual communities and forums…or whatever you want to call them.

It all started 10 years ago when I got my first computer. Yes, I’m 40 yrs old and got my first computer at age 30 when I decided to finish my degree. Hell, I didn’t have a cell phone til about 5 yrs ago, but that’s another story (one I’m proud of anyway, as I hate phones).

My good friend turned me onto our college sports message board. It’s been downhill from there. I’ve been a member of a couple of message boards for over ten years. Never straying very far, checking “the board” at least once a week, sometimes more, sometimes several times a day (not at work of course….hmm).

Of course this is nothing compared to kids and adults that now have smart phones. They're checking, posting, and replying to their Facebooks every three freakin’ minutes.

I’m now a regular on three Harley-Davidson related message boards, two car related boards, three sports/sports betting message boards and a few others. I have my core “boards” that I check regularly. I’ve even attended a couple of “meet and greets”, where I’ve met in person other members of various boards.

That was kind of weird, as most people hide behind the anonymity of the internet, and when met face to face, often times they’re very different people. This is why I try to stay as true to myself as possible when participating on message boards, and other internet communities, including this blog stuff.

In addition to message boards, I’m also a “commenter.” As I regularly comment on newspaper websites, other people’s blogs, etc.

The banter and feedback can be fun. It can also get ugly very quickly because of the anonymity. As in life, I tend to stay clear of bullets, not creating waves whenever possible. However, in a heated debate, the gloves to have to come off eventually. However, I still try to maintain some civility and try to never insult anyone personally.

I’m probably one of the less than 5% of the galzillion people on the internet that follows the rule of no personal insults. I’m sure a lot of my comments and views may be insulting to some, but you will rarely get a direct insult from me.

There are lot of interesting dynamics to message boards, all of which, in my opinion, stem from being anonymous.

Not sure where the addiction comes from. I’m sure some of it stems from the anxiety of waiting for a reply, wondering how others might respond to my thoughts (replies), etc. There's probably psychological studies on people like me, I'm sure! Maybe I just need to find a hobby. Oh, wait, can't my message boarding be a hobby??

I really need to find a way to make a living online. Seriously. Suggestions welcome.

Record Lows – Ouch

2010-07-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I’ve posted about the Las Vegas weather many times. You can read it all here. Basically, I don’t mind the heat.

However, my one complaint is the high temperatures at night. This morning the Las Vegas valley broke a record with the low for that date, July 12, at 88 degrees F. It can be 111 degrees F (forecast for the next few days), fine. But, one would like it to cool off a bit at night. Not here.

You have to remember that 88 F is at 5:30am, the coolest part of the day, right before sunrise. So, that means that if it’s 111 F at 9pm when the sun goes down, at 11pm it might be 105 F, at 2am it might be 95 and so on. It doesn’t drop to the frigid 88 F as soon as the sun goes down. This makes for one hot night, let me tell ya.

As much as I bitch, I’ll still take it over snow and cold any time, any day, any lifetime.

Disappointed with the Blues…….

2010-07-05T12:27:00.000-07:00

…again.

On Saturday night I found myself at the local blues club*, with a great band playing. They were phenomenal musicians, great guitar player, great front man on harp, outstanding keyboard and vocals and a solid rhythm section. For the first 30 minutes, I was blown away, texting my guitar playing friend telling him how great the whole experience was. I was telling myself I needed to starting practicing more, I needed to find another band to play with, I needed to come down here more (to the blues club), etc, etc.

Then it happened.

After about 30 minutes I lost interest. This happens to me every time I see a blues band; the exact same scenario. I’m completely blown away for the first half hour or so, and then I’m bored with it.

Sorry. I try. I try to like it. I truly do appreciate the musicianship (if the band is good). But, like I always say, you can only do that blues “turn-around” so many times. As in, there’s only so many ways you can play the blues, and it’s very limited, in my humble opinion.

I’m starting to develop my own theory as to why rock and roll developed from the blues. And that’s because the kids simply got bored with it. This may not be theory, this could very well be true, and I’m quite certain in some cases it was.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate everything about the blues. It’s history, its place in rock and roll, its demography, the juke joints, the great blues musicians – past and present, and so on. And for that, I’ll continue to support the blues clubs and the bands. However, don’t expect me to dancin’ much after the first set.

*I’m not going to mention the club or the band name as to not inadvertently give them any disservice, as they do not deserve it.

Bad Attitudes

2010-06-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas is the convention capitol of the world. It brings millions of dollars to our fair city every year. I'm a born again capitalist, so I'm ok with this. Kudos to all of the businesses and people who prosper. Including poker players like Rakewell who watch when certain conventions are in town, then proceeds to slay on the wanna-be poker pros. Billiards conventions come to mind...hmmmmm.

The problem lies in the fact that conventions often bring people to Vegas that don't want to be here. As a matter of fact, conventions bring thousands and thousands of Vegas haters to Vegas every year.

How cool is that? Not very.

Especially if you're like me, someone who is actually friendly and nice to people. I can't tell you how many times I've sat down at a bar and tried to drum up a conversation with the person next to me, only to find out they'd cut off their right hand to be somewhere else. Joy.

There are many reasons for this. The first and foremost is because it's easy to pick on Vegas* because of all the stereotypes. You know, it's hot, it's a rip-off, everyone is a slimball, crime, etc, etc (yeah, yeah, yeah, some of this may be true, but you get my point).

A big problem is the fact that a lot of conventions bring non-Vegas type of people here. You know......frugal, Mormon, family first, Biblebelt, penny-pinching, non-drinking/recovering alcoholic types. Of course I won't stereotype what type of business a person like this might be in that brought them to Las Vegas in the first place (joke).

My point is, those people suck to be around. Not only for me, the local trying to have a good conversation and good time, but for the unsuspecting tourist who's spent good money to be here.

I can only imagine the conversation. It must go something like this,

Unsuspecting Tourist: "Hey were are you staying!? You get a good deal!? Having a good time!?"

Convention Asshat: "I'm staying here at the MGM. My company paid for it. I hate Las Vegas."

That can't be good for business.

I don't have a solution. As I mentioned earlier, the convention business is BIG business in Las Vegas, as it brings in tons of money. The assclowns with the bad Las Vegas attitudes, I can do without.

*The Vegas stereotype will be a whole other post someday.

Odd Man Out

2010-06-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

I have three best friends. I have a core of about 6 very close friends, all male, including those three. But the three best friends are close enough to confide in just about anything. The other three, almost, but some real personal stuff remains in the closet.

But what’s odd is, besides our closeness and general friendship; we have almost nothing in common, especially when it comes to “man” type stuff. I’ll give some examples.

My interests:

-motorcycles
-watching and betting on sports
-general gambling (craps, blackjack, etc)
-golf
-cars (maintenance, performance, etc)
-poker
-fishing
-and, I’m a musician

Out of my three friends, one guy rides a motorcycle and is into car maintenance, and one other guy rides a bike and is a musician. That’s it. Pretty amazing, actually.

Remember, I mentioned these guys are my BEST friends. But as you can imagine, the majority of the time when we’re hangin’ out, there are no high fives at the craps table, no afternoons of golf, no fishing trips, no Saturday afternoons in the garage, no evenings of cigars and poker, no hangin’ at the sportsbook betting and watching the game. And, with the exception of one guy, there is no busting out the guitars for a little jam session.

Anybody else find this a bit odd? I sometimes do.

Buying a Car? New or Used?

2010-05-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

I could probably write a book about this subject (perhaps I will someday), but for now, I’ll give you my take.

To cut to the chase, there are two very definitive camps – those that "Buy New", those that "Buy Used". Not very many folks are on the fence. I’ve found, it’s usually derived from how you were raised, ie; what your parents did or what they drilled into your young mind. I live in the “Buy New” camp, I’ll tell you why.

First, two words: Car Talk.

Do you ever listen to the radio show Car Talk, on National Public Radio? I do, I love the show. The premise of the show is, people call in with car problems and the hosts entertainingly diagnose the problem. I download and listen to the podcasts if I happen to miss an episode. Recently, I’ve downloaded a bunch of shows that I haven’t heard from their archives. I like to listen to the show because A) it’s very entertaining and B) I like to test my general knowledge of motor vehicles. (And, I do quite well; it’s pretty rare that they get a caller with a car problem that I don’t have at least an idea as to what the problem may be.)

All you have to do is listen to one episode and it’s obviously and painfully clear a very good portion of the general public DO NOT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT CARS. I could give you example after example, but I’ll spare you, just listen for yourself. And because of that, there is no way I’m buying a used car from some schmuck that doesn’t know a dipstick from an antenna.

The fact is, the internal combustion engine hasn’t changed much in the last 100 years. There are a lot of moving parts, metal parts that need regular maintenance in order operate properly and/or for longevity. And, you really, really need to know what they are. Yes, one can take their vehicle to the shop for regular maintenance at the proper scheduled time, which is good actually, very good. But, if you don’t know what they’re talking about, mechanics can tell you ANYTHING.

Yes, I’ve purchased used vehicles in the past. But, if/when I do purchase used, it’s very used, very old and very cheap. Something I know I can and will be working on, such as an old pickup truck or motorcycle. Or, I’d buy something used that I know has a great reputation for durability and longevity, such as an old Mercedes. Other than that, it ain’t happenin’.

And, for all you, “Buy Used” folks out there that preach about the “depreciation value after you drive a new vehicle off the lot”, blah, blah, blah….well, I say fine. I’ll gladly take that immediate drop in value for a couple of reasons. One, I do my research and buy good, reliable cars, so it's not that big of a deal (I’ll get to that in a minute) and two, I’m not planning on selling it (unless some unfortunate life/financial travesty happens).

One of the really big upsides for buying a good new car is the peace of mind you have for at least…at least 50,000 miles- all you have to do is change the fluids and put gas in it. For most people, the general average is 10-15k miles per year, so, you’re looking at almost 5 years of worry free road trips, driving vacations, reliable work transportation, reliable (god forbid) emergency vehicle for whatever reason, etc, etc, etc. That’s 5 freakin’ years of basically a brand new car.

You buy a used car with 50k on it, say. Ok, it looks in great condition, the “carfax” says it’s good, the mechanic says it’s good, but in reality, you have NO idea of how the previous owner took care of it – none. Even if they DID take it to shop for regular maintenance, you still don’t really know. So, what happens when the tranny goes out? Well, then you’ve got the 3k repair bill AND your car payment (although it’s reduced because you were smart enough to buy a used car….lol).

Just for the record, I do a lot of my own repair and maintenance work on my vehicles. That’s how I was raised. I was taught to take care of stuff and make it last. Treat your vehicle like it’s the only one you’ll ever have, as in, you have to make it last for the rest of your life. And, that’s exactly what I do.

But, I know for a fact, from listening to shows like Car Talk, talking to the general public, talking with my mechanic friends, that most people aren’t like me. They’re pretty clueless, and I for one, even the gambler that I may be, am not willing to take that chance.

………………………………………………………………….

The Vegas Flea’s list of good vehicle manufacturers:

Cars: Volvo, Honda, Toyota, Volkswagen, BMW, Audi, Mercedes……Yes, some of these vehicles can be a bit expensive, but if you’re buying new for the long haul, it’ll be worth it in the long run with reliability and longevity. One excellent reliable, reasonably priced choice is the Honda.

Notice there are no America car manufacturers listed. Well, sorry, but they’re generally pieces of junk, hence the reason Detroit has basically failed. Why? Here’s a little challenge….Buyer 1 purchases a brand new, say, Ford Focus….Buyer 2 purchases the same type of vehicle from the manufacturers on my list. They both have the same driving habits, put on the same type of mileage, etc, etc…..after 10 years, we’ll compare vehicles. If the Focus is still on the road, it won’t even be a comparison.

Pickup Trucks: This is a tough one, but I lean towards American here (as opposed to cars) as the Japanese haven’t been in the full-sized pickup truck market that long. However, Mazda and Toyota made some good little pickups back in the day.

Motorcycles: Well motorcycles have to be broken down into three categories; Cruisers, Sport Bikes and Dirt Bikes.

Cruisers: Harley-Davidson and Triumph. Believe it or not, today’s Harleys are very reliable and will last forever if they’re maintained properly. And yes, they need to be maintained properly and often. They’re still made of steel and made to last.

Metric cruisers (Yamaha, Honda, etc) are generally pieces of junk, and if they’re not, they eventually will be. Just to be clear, I am not a Harley purist, I like all motorcycles. But metric cruisers are an attempt by their manufacturers to target the cruiser-type motorcycle market that has sky-rocketed in the last 15 years with a lower price tag. Therefore, they’re not made very well and simply don’t last. I’ve seen it firsthand.

Dirt: Japanese and KTM.

Sport Bikes: Japanese, and of course Ducati.

…I’d be happy to discuss anything more about cars, trucks or bikes at anytime, just drop me a line.

Oh, and by the way, I was very happy to see that my friend Linda Lou purchased new! And, no, we did not have this conversation beforehand. 

Flea Bite #20

2010-04-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

This Flea Bite has two parts.

Part 1: You cannot make up your own nickname. End of story.

How fucking lame is that? You’ve heard it. You’ve seen it. LAME. You can’t just decide one day what you think you should be called. Or, worse, what you think might be cool or whatever.

Only your friends (or enemies) and family can make up your nickname. If it’s something you don’t like, I suggest trying to be a better person. But either way, you have to live with it.

Part 2: You cannot demand people call you by your nickname.

Hippies and bikers are notorious for this shit. Two groups of people I’ve spent the majority of my adult life around. If your mother named you Joe, and your hippie friends call you Moonbeam, people you meet in the future have the choice of either calling you Joe or Moonbeam – their choice, not yours.

If your real name is Mary, and your nickname is Blondie, then people can call you either Mary or Blondie, you cannot demand people call you Blondie. This happened to me recently. A grizzled old biker couple I know had a little get together over at their house one summer afternoon. I was introduced to the hostess. She informed me that her real name was Mary, but everyone calls her Blondie.

Well, an hour or so later I need directions to the restroom, found the hostess and asked,

“Mary, which way to the bathroom?”

Mary (Blondie) replies sternly,

“It’s Blondie. The bathroom is over there.”

I’m thinking, ummmm...ahhhh, no it ain’t bitch. It’s Mary. Your mother named you that, you just told me. And yeah, she mentioned everyone calls her Blondie, but I’m not everyone. I’m someone she just met. I’m a stranger. The way I look at it, I don’t have the right nor reason to call her that. I don’t know this woman. A nickname is something that close friends and family affectionately (most of the time) refer to you as. It’s derived from your actions or your personality or your appearance…not by what you want people to call you.

Flea Bite #19

2010-04-09T08:50:00.001-07:00

You never see a motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrists office.

Baseball Sucks

2010-04-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

Baseball Sucks. Sorry.

As a sports fan, I hate this time of year.

Ok, ok, baseball doesn’t really suck, but it’s pretty damned close. Unless you’re at the ballpark, it’s almost painful to watch. It’s a horrible, horrible game to try to handicap. The season is way too long. The big market teams (Yankees, Red Sox, etc) have a monopoly on the players. And if you don’t live in one of those big market towns, generally you don’t give a shit. I’m Exhibit A.

Look, I’m not a huge NFL fan either, and the NBA, forget it. I’m really not a big fan of any professional sport, college sports is my thing. And yeah, there is college baseball, but you have to be a really BIG fan of baseball or a diehard supporter of your alma mater to be a college baseball fan. Plus, my alma mater’s baseball team was cut due to Title 9 along with the ski team. You don’t even want to get me started on that one. Therefore, I don’t even have a mild interest in college baseball.

So, now what do I do? Well, I have backups, like riding my motorcycle, my bicycle, fishing, hiking and golf. All of which I plan to do a lot of this summer. It’s not that I spend hours upon hours in front of the TV watching college sports all fall and winter, it’s just that I’m generally interested in the story lines, results, standings, etc. All of which I enjoy reading about in the mornings online, in the newspaper or briefly on the tv while I’m getting ready for work in the morning.

I also enjoy handicapping the the college games. However, baseball is almost impossible because there’s so many games and you never know what’s going to happen any give day. A lot of folks claim baseball can be the most profitable of betting seasons, and for some it might be.

But, the thing of it is, you can’t handicap a single baseball game like you can a college football or basketball game. Baseball handicappers are in it for the “long haul”, as in they’re thinking about the entire season and making their bets accordingly. I’m not big enough baseball fan to make that commitment.

But, quite frankly, I think some bettors like baseball because they’re terrible handicappers and winning at baseball requires a lot of luck. Most people that aren’t good at something require lots of luck. Ironically, it’s these same people that can’t win a single college basketball or college football bet. I happen to be pretty good at betting college basketball and football, hmmm……

If somebody buys me a ticket and drives me to a Las Vegas 51’s game (minor league team here in Vegas), I’ll go, and probably have a good time. But all and all, baseball is my least favorite sport.

(Ironically, I played baseball all the years of my youth and excelled in the sport more than any other, including football.)

My Job in Rock and Roll

2010-03-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

One of many perks of living in the entertainment capitol of the world is the option of actually working IN the entertainment business. This is only cool of course, if you’re into such things. Well, I am.

Las Vegas is good for this, even in a down economy. Who wouldn’t trade their day job for a chance at being a rock star? Some people say they wouldn’t, but if they knew the true rock star lifestyle that everyone talks about, they would – in a second.

Rock star I am not. However, I do work with real life rock stars from time to time. I’m a part-time stagehand. As noted on here before, in my past life, I was in several working bands. Can’t say that I was ever a rock star or even a full-time musician, but I did put my time in. I guess I can say that the time spent lugging our own gear in and out of dungy little taverns and bars has paid off, because now I get to lug TONS of gear (literally tons) in and out of much larger venues.

Glamorous job it is not. But, if you’re into rock and roll, the coolness factor makes up for that, tenfold. Yeah, I’m bragging a little bit. However, I can honestly say that many stagehands don’t feel the same way I do, as some could give a shit what kind of work they’re doing, as long as they get paid.

Personally, I love being part of it. My job is part of show. We’re responsible for…well, EVERYTHING.

As a working musician, I never fully realized what little a famous rock star actually does during production or on tour. As far as production is concerned on tour, well, they do basically nothing. Some don’t even touch their instruments until they’re on stage, in front of the audience. That means, no sound check, nothing. They come out, play, sing, etc for a couple of hours (if that), then back to the bus, party or whatever they were doing beforehand. It’s pretty jaw dropping, actually, considering how much heavy, physical work is done by the crew before and after the show.

I’ll get more into what a stagehand actually does in my next related post, of which I’ll call Stagehand 101. Until then, here’s a partial list of artists/crews I’ve worked with:

Aerosmith
ZZ Top
Dave Matthews
Sanatana
Motley Crue
Godsmack
Reba McEntyre
Dream Theatre
Kid Rock
Charlie Daniels Band
U2
…..and a myriad of others.

ROCK AND ROLL BABY!!

Undisputed Kings of Metal

2010-03-19T08:02:00.001-07:00

In my world, there's absolutely no comparison. Metallica fucking RULES. End of story.

They took heavy metal rock music to heights that no other band had done before them, and now, much like their predecessors Led Zeppelin, they're often imitated, but never duplicated.

Their song writing, not necessarily the lyrics, but the arrangements of the songs with the unprecedented crescendos of building power is unmatched. Especially the older stuff. When I listen to some of their music, I feel like I can conquer the world. The feelings of power and energy their music delivers envokes an emotional high that no drug can touch.

There's a reason this band is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And yes, one must give reverence to the fathers of metal, such as Black Sabbath. And of course, Iron Maiden, a band that I consider the bridge between Black Sabbath and Metallica, chronologically and musically.

If you don't believe me, download the songs Breadfan, Damage Inc, and Battery to your Ipod and listen to it at the gym. Try it.

I'm Done.

2010-03-15T10:08:00.001-07:00

Ok, I’m done….with poker that is. This has been a long time coming.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the game of poker, always have. But what I don’t enjoy are the personalities and the general atmosphere I encounter almost every single time I play.

I like to consider myself a little more than the casual player, as I know basic strategy, pot odds, etc and I’ve certainly put enough time into the game to consider myself a slight step above your average tourist.

Because of that, I certainly understand that a poker game isn’t necessarily a social event, as most players are there trying to make money and crush their opponents.

However, it’s simply not like that. Human nature takes hold, along with everyone’s personality and general disposition on life itself. And let me tell ya, in the poker world, that’s generally not very pretty.

I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of years now and have come to the conclusion that there is no way to sugar coat it:

It’s my opinion that the poker world is a miserable, depressing entity that quite frankly, I don’t want any part of any longer…at least on a semi-serious level. I’m sure I’ll play again the future, but it’ll be light hearted (which is virtually impossible because of the miserable human beings involved, hence my disdain for the game these days).

And here’s the thing, I’ve tried to get back into the game the last year or so. You can read about my experiences at the Orleans a while back here. I’ve tried to keep a positive attitude and not let all the negative energy get to me, but it’s been impossible.

Recently, I’ve tried again. Twice this weekend as a matter of fact; the 4/8 game at both the Suncoast and the Red Rock. I lasted approximately 30 minutes each session. I picked up my chips, mid rotation each time thinking the same thing, “You people can wallow in your own misery, I’m not going to be a part of it.” And, I’m not referring to just the players either.

I think it takes a special person to be long term poker player. If you ever notice poker on TV, the majority of those people are probably folks you don’t want to be friends with. The thing of it is, the majority of “regular” folks simply have better things to do. I could expand on that, but I’d surely seriously offend (if I haven’t already) the majority of my poker playing friends.

To clarify, I’m not saying that all poker players and/or dealers are bad people. Take the Poker Grump for example. Who authors a fantastic blog on the daily happenings of a Las Vegas grinder. I’ve met him several times. He’s a good guy. He seems like the exception. However, if I didn’t know him beforehand, perhaps at the table, it could be a different story. Although, he’s a self described introvert and a stickler for the rules of the game, and those types of people don’t generally bother me, so who knows.

And of course, there’s Hurricane Mikey, of whom I’ve only met once, but I’m a regular reader of his blog. He’s a poker dealer here in Las Vegas. Seems like a good guy. Not all dealers are miserable at the table, and from what I’ve read (I don’t think I’ve ever had Mikey deal to me), he doesn’t seem that way.

I guess poker’s just not for me. And, what’s sad is, it’s not the game itself that bothers me, it’s the atmosphere. You’d think I’d be able to overcome that, but at the present moment after many failed attempts, I haven’t.

This is something that’s been bothering me for a while now. As one of the reasons I moved to Las Vegas was the fact that I’d be able to play poker whenever I wanted (although that was towards the bottom of the list).

Bummer.

Deadhead Corner.....Further 3/5/10, Broomfield, CO - Review

2010-03-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

Broomfield, CO, what thee fuck?? A little explanation, Broomfield, CO really isn’t a town, it’s a series of strip malls and corporate centers. It’s basically the Information Technology center for the Rocky Mountain region. I know this, because, unfortunately, as a corporate IT dude in my past life (similar today, just drop the corporate part), I’ve been there.

You see, you go to Broomfield for tech conferences and team building seminars, not to see a freakin’ derivative of the Grateful Dead!!

So, needless to say, the scene was a little strange. The venue sits out in the middle of nowhere, next to these corporate buildings (all completely empty of course, being a Saturday), with a few, quite certainly, over-priced condos here and there.

The real problem with these types of venues is generally the authorities. As for one; they rarely see something like this, if ever, and have a heightened sense of over-protectiveness, which is completely unnecessary when dealing with generally non-confrontational, peaceful Deadheads….and two; because of it’s physical location, there is usually only one way in and one way out, of which the authorities are watching like hawks, so leaving the place can be interesting as you run the risk of being unnecessarily hassled.

We fortunately, ran that gauntlet successfully, and made it back to our hotel room unscathed.

As far as the show….whoa. As mentioned previously, I’m a big fan of the traditional arrangements of Grateful Dead songs, and this is precisely what they did. Even more so than what I’d heard on previous recordings of this band.

The music was outstanding. Absolutely outstanding. Yes, Jerry Garcia is no longer around, but they took those songs to new heights of reverence. If you like the Grateful Dead’s music, even slightly, go see this band. From what I saw the other night, you will not be disappointed.

While searching for the setlist to the show the other night, I found a very fitting review of the show at the otherones.net. This review by Maggie Rose, Boulder, CO, pretty much sums it up.

Set List 3/5/2010:

I: Viola Lee Blues > I Need a Miracle, Mason's Children > Bertha, Brown-Eyed Women, Looks Like Rain, Estimated Prophet > Lady with a Fan > Terrapin

II: The Music Never Stopped, The Wheel, Unbroken Chain, Shakedown Street > King Solomon's Marbles, Black Peter > Truckin > Viola Lee Blues > Sugar Magnolia

E: Revolution

Deadhead Corner - Off to see Further

2010-03-04T17:25:00.001-08:00

The first time since 1993 or so, I'm traveling more than an hour or so's drive to see a band. I'm flying to Denver tomorrow to see the Further band. As mentioned before, John Kadlecik has officially left the Dark Star Orchestra to join original Grateful Dead members Bob Weir and Phil Lesh's band, Further. I'm stoked.

Long story short, 20 years ago, I was a disciple of the Grateful Dead. An experience that's hard to put to words. But, after Jerry Garcia died in 1995, I've seen the remnants of the band perform only a few times. Bob Weir and Phil Lesh have been touring almost non-stop during this time.

Being a hardcore Deadhead, you might wonder why I wouldn't want to go to these shows. Well, it's not that I don't particularly want to, because I've seen a handful of these shows. The basic premise as to why I don't go see these guys all the time is simple.

They don't perform Grateful Dead songs in their traditional form.

They mess with them. Yeah, it kinda sounds like the song, but not really. Sorry, but that's really turned me off over the years. This is also a reason that I was such as huge fan of the Dark Star Orchestra. They not only perform Grateful Dead songs traditionally as the Dead used to do them, they perform the whole damn show!

Well, Bob and Phil now have John K. Since then, they've been loosening the grip a little so to speak, and have been performing Dead tunes as close to their traditional arrangements since Jerry died. I've listened to it, some of it is great, other times, it's more of the same, like some weird arrangement of a Garcia song with Phil singing the lyrics instead of John K (who sounds eerily similar to Garcia).

So, on a scale of 1-10, compared to how psyched I'd get before a real Grateful Dead concert when Garcia was alive, I'm probably at a 5. I'll give a full report of the show when I get back.

Oh, and just an fyi, because this blog isn't one of those "this is what I did today" kind of blogs (not that there's anything wrong with those), if you're a regular lurker, you've probably noticed I've been slacking off a bit. Well, I have excuses of courses.

But, stay tuned, I've got plenty in the Flea Bank. Upcoming subjects should include; Harley-Davidson's, poker, more Vegas stuff, and perhaps a book review or too.

In the meantime....

Rock out wit yer twig out and jam out wit yer clam out baby!!!

TVF

Gambling Topics You Won't Hear on the Travel Channel

2010-02-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

Card Counting. Yes, unless you live in cave, you know that the 0/1 MIT card counting method seems to be very real and if you have a calculator for a brain and unreal concentration skills, this method can apparently work. What’s not talked about on the Travel and Discovery channels is the fact that if you even show any hint of being able to do this, even if you’re a drunk tourist experimenting with something you read in a book, you will be asked to leave the table. You more than likely won’t be asked to leave the casino, just the blackjack table.

Even if you have no idea of what your doing and get lucky, with the appearance of card counting (ie; placing larger than normal wagers every once and a while and winning them). It will go something like this:

“Excuse Mr. Smith, we appreciate your business, and value you as a guest of our property, but we’re going to have to ask that you leave the blackjack table. You’re welcome to play any other of our fine table games. Thank you sir.”

This is not really a question, you are being told to leave the table. But don’t worry, you more than likely won’t be embarrassed as the casino doesn’t want to embarrass themselves by causing a scene (hence why this isn’t talked about publicly, on say, the Travel Channel..lol)….as they will wait until you’re the only one at the table or during a break in the action where the pit boss can pull you aside without making a scene.

A side note, the larger the table limits, the more likely this will happen. There are many, many, many stories about wealthy customers just having a good time at the $25 and up blackjack tables and going on a tremendous winning streak, then being asked to leave for no apparent reason other than someone came to the conclusion that the lucky customer has won enough money – card counting or otherwise.

Dice Setting on the Craps Table. I’m not going to go into the details, but if you do an internet search on dice setting, you’ll get two or three of the top sites on the subject, of which you can learn as much or as little as you’d like about it.

Basically, the premise is, setting the dice to particular position, say two/two "V" position shown here, and gently tossing the dice as soft as possible as to not produce any more roll than necessary; but at the same time, abiding by all the house rules such as hitting the back diamond board, etc.

However, this has to be done in a timely manner as one of the excuses some houses use that do not allow dice setting is that it can “take up too much time” or “slow the game down.” This can be very true, actually. So, if you’re going to try this, take some time a do a little research and try to do it right (as in, not slow the game down). Advice, carefully look at the two dice you’re going to be shooting prior to them being slid to you by the stick man. As in, know which way you’re going to “set” the dice prior to having them in your hand. This is simple, as the opposite sides of the dice add up to 7, so if the 6 is facing up, you know that the 1 is on the bottom, same goes for the 4 and 3, 5 and 2, obviously.

Does this work? Some say it does, others say its sucker folk lore. You be the judge.

There are certainly more than two things you don’t hear talked about on TV, such as second-guessing the croupier’s throw on the roulette wheel. I’ll only touch on this one briefly, as most believe this is impossible to do. In any case, if you’re interested, the player attempting to do this is not trying to guess a single number; he/she is trying to guess the area of the wheel the ball will stop on the next throw, and then covering those numbers with bets; as in, ¼ or 1/3 of the wheel.

Is this impossible? Does this work? Like I said, most say this is completely impossible and that any one even discussing it should be thrown in an insane asylum. However, there is a reason that dealers are taught to mix up the speed of the game, slow the wheel down, speed the wheel up, stop the wheel occasionally, and pull the ball. Whatever that reason is, is for you to decide. If you ask the house, they’ll have a logical explanation for these activities, of course.

For the record, I am not endorsing any of this activity; this post is for conversational purposes only. Personally, as I’ve stated in other posts, I don’t play blackjack, craps or roulette any more. Not saying you shouldn’t. Hell, when I’d come here to visit before moving here, I’d hit all those games and have a freakin’ blast. So, take whatever I say as you will. I just found it interesting that certain topics are not discussed. And, believe me, there are plenty more, some things I will get into later…..

Good luck.

A new look at NASCAR

2010-02-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm gonna have to give NASCAR another look, or at least one driver - Danica Patrick.

Unfortunately, sex sells. We all know that Billy Bob from Chickenscratch, Arkansas should be driving that car. And, myself and the rest of humanity could be spared from those horrible soft-core porn Go Daddy commercials.

However, I have to confess, I find her incredibly attractive. I always have. Not sure why. I think it's a combination of intrigue, her occupation and looks.

Guilty as charged.

**Addendum
Before I receive any hate mail, just to be clear, my reference to Billy Bob driving the car is by no means insinuating that a woman can't or shouldn't be doing it. Let's face it, NASCAR is in the entertainment business, not the racing business. Why do you think Jeff Gordon, Dale Jr, Kasey Kahne, etc are all good looking dudes? It's no coincidence.

Flea Bite #18

2010-01-28T13:58:00.000-08:00

Any sentence that begins with the two words "At least" always ends bad.

"At least I had insurance."

Just off the top of my head:

At least I made it home ok.
At least there's some beer in the fridge.
At least my dick didn't fall off.
At least I still have a job.

These are pretty lame...help me out folks. Lets hear 'em!

Flea Bite #17

2010-01-22T14:07:00.000-08:00

If you're traveling in a vehicle you can sleep in, such as the converted pickup truck (see pic below), hotel parking lots are excellent choices to spend the night.

Just be sure to park in the back or out of view of the front desk or lobby. And situate your vehicle so the hotel patrons can't see you getting in or out. Regardless, always try to get in and out as discretely as you can. Vans are excellent self contained traveling vehicles because you don't even have to get out to crawl in the back and go to sleep.

Another very important thing to remember is to completely cover all windows or openings so that you cannot been seen in there. And, don't do it haphazardly, cause just throwing a towel or something over the window is too damned obvious. Take the time and do a nice job. Not only will it look nice, it will also look permanent, which is important.

I suggest using industrial strength adhesive Velcro and dark, non-see-through curtain material for the curvy and odd shaped windows of your vehicle. Hem the edges of the material just as you would if you were making curtains for your home. Sew the Velcro to the material, as even the heavy duty adhesive won't stick very well to fabric. It will, however stick nicely to the inside of your vehicle or truck topper.

On a side note, TVF does not endorse sleeping in a regular car anywhere, anytime, if it can be avoided. It's simply not very safe (another reason for good curtains in your truck or van), and it's painfully uncomfortable.

Happy traveling!

Flea Bite #16

2010-01-21T12:17:00.001-08:00

Never trust a man who whistles - never.

Flea Bite #15

2010-01-18T07:52:00.000-08:00

If you're expecting an inheritance from your parents, DO NOT let them retire in Las Vegas.

...or any other place within a days drive of a casino - seriously. You have to believe me as I see it almost every day. Let me explain.

I live within a couple of miles of two large "locals" casinos. This time of year, I regularly place small bets on college basketball or I'm in the casino for lunch or sometimes just to hang out watch a game and/or have a beer.

Often times, this schedule will take me into one of the casinos at odd hours, such as the middle of the day during the week, off nights such as Tuesdays, etc. Guess who's there? Yep, you got it - Dad, Gramps, Grandma, Mom, Aunt Flo, Uncle Jim...you get the picture. It's a freaking AARP convention, only this time instead of the break-out sessions being about nurturing your nestegg, the sessions are about lighting cash on fire.

Look, don't get me wrong. How do I know these people are in there on daily basis? Because I am. But, I can honestly say that many times I'm in there for reasons other than gambling (hard to believe, but true). If you live here, you know that a great place to grab a quick lunch is at any casino food court.

However, I do gamble. But my gambling is very selective and sparse. For one, I'm not playing the fucking slot machines. Those things can eat 100 dollar bills in a matter of minutes and Gram and Gramps are feeding those things 20's and 100's faster than I can type or you can read...and this is happening 24/7.

Should this bother me? Digging deep into my personality and beliefs, well no, it shouldn't and generally doesn't. Mainly because people can do whatever the hell they want with their money, they have absolutely no obligation to give it anyone before or after death. But, I'm sorry, hemorrhaging your life savings to a corporate casino is just pathetic and sad. Sure, it helps our economy somewhat, but at the same time I can't get over the fact that the money is basically just being wasted as opposed to being used for something good, or perhaps leaving a positive mark on the world.

Look, just to let everyone know, my parents are/were (about to retire) hardworking blue collar types that will just have enough to keep a roof over their heads for their remaining years and it's quite clear the kids "ain't gettin' shit - cause there ain't any shit to give." That could be, and perhaps is, the reason for my feelings about this subject, as it certainly has nothing to do with selfishness.

I'll give a specific example. As noted earlier, I bet on sports and watch sports occasionally, so I naturally find myself at the sportsbook bar. I see the same people every time I'm there. I've even gotten to the point to where I'm on friendly speaking terms with one older couple. They have kids back east, grandchildren as well. I know for a fact (because I see it firsthand and they've told me) that they spend in upwards to $1000 a day playing video poker and slot machines. Think about that for a second. I can guarantee you that if their children saw and/or knew about this, they'd be sick to their stomachs. They're not even my parents and I'm sick and saddened by it, not necessarily to the fact that their kids aren't going to get to see any of that money, but the fact that it's simply being wasted.

These people should just withdraw all their money from their savings in cash, make a big pile of it out in the middle of the desert and light it on fire.

Songs in My Head

2010-01-15T12:30:00.001-08:00

Everyone gets songs in their head. You hear a jingle or a song while driving and it sticks with you all day. This happens to me from time to time, but often something else happens.

Often times, my emotions will trigger a song that I have stored deep in my subconscious. And almost always, the song matches the emotion. Example, if I'm feeling happy a happy song will come to me. It doesn't have to have lyrics about being happy, it only has to be a song that makes me feel good while listening to it.

A great example is when I get that weird psychedelic feeling, the Grateful Dead's The Other One will pop in into my head completely out of the blue. I don't need to hear anything similar or read anything about the Grateful Dead or psychedelics to trigger this.

Almost always I don't need to hear, see or read anything that will jar my memory and make me think of a song, my emotions do it. I find this wildly fascinating. But what's really fascinating is the fact that the song lyrics and/or sounds will be completely disconnected to my surroundings other than the way I'm feeling at the time.

My own personal soundtrack. Cool.

Flea Bite #14

2010-01-08T15:34:00.000-08:00

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.”-Bob Dylan

Poor bartending skills

2010-01-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for poor bartending. I could write a book on the subject, and I've contemplated doing so. For a little background on my take of the service industry, I suggest you read My Restuarant Crutch.

I've tended bar on and off for over ten years now. I'm currently "off". That could change, but I doubt it. I believe I'm done bartending, as I enjoy being on the other side of the bar much more. Why? Because it's a damned hard job, not just the physical aspect of it, but mentally too. The service industry is tough, to be good at it, you have to be a special person. That's why most front of the house people, ie; waiters, waitresses, bartenders suck huge choad.

The most important aspect of being a good bartender is attitude. I know, it's tough, you're having a bad day, your life sucks...but you know what? It's part of your job, it's a big part of you job. And, if you can't do it, then find another job.

The other night, I got a shitty bartender twofer. Joy.

I decided to go out for drink after work, solo of course. I went "yuppie" this time, stopping at a couple of "nicer" places in my neck of the woods. It's easy to fit in these days as I'm currently doing a consulting gig, and the usual dress is business casual. So, I figured, what the hell.

First stop, a well known brewery semi-chain, a place I normally enjoy, Gordon-Biersch. There are two in town and the one on Paradise is much, much better than the one in Boca Park, better staff, better atmosphere, betting building, etc, etc. I was in Boca Park, way out west valley.

Long story short, I'm at the bar, chatting with my new friend to my left. He's ordered food. He ordered some type of faux-mexican dish, typical for this type of establishment. He asks the young female bartender for some tabasco. She promptly walks to the end of the bar and grabs a bottle and delivers it with a smile.

My new friend and I both notice the bottle is empty. So, he tries to make light of it and says to her jokingly,

"Ya think you gave me enough?"

She smiles, throws in a bit of a fake laugh and walks away - and doesn't return.

Two observations here. One, how can you as a competent bartender not fucking notice the bottle was empty? Not to mention the moron who didn't throw the empty bottle out in the first place. And two, her complete and utter oblivion to what he said to her. It didn't even register what he came out of his mouth. This is the one that really bothers me, especially after the fake smile and laugh. She acted like she heard him and got his joke.

The problem here lies within the hiring practices of these types of places. They hire young, attractive looking college age people. That's all good and fine. But, the problem with that is, these kids could give a flying fuck about you, your food, your drink or the service they're providing.

They're not waiting on you, they're waiting on the tip, period.

Episode two. Of course, l left the first place. And yeah, her actions certainly may be innocent enough for some, but I can't tolerate dumb shit like that. So, on to drink number two. I walk two doors down to the Kona Grill. The Kona Grill is kind of a hip, trendy type of place and is certainly the busiest in that part of town. I've been there before, I mildly like the place. In the past, I've met some decent folks while at the bar.

But, I've had issues with the bartenders of course, and this night was no different. You see, the Kona Grill is type of place where bartenders develop what I call "Bartender Complex."

Bartender Complex is a disease that effects one's ego. It's simple really: You put a weak-minded, slightly insecure person into position of perceived authority, and it's going to go to their head. Another great example is police officers, but that's a whole different story on a completely higher level.

Bartender Complex is more prevalent in college towns and more rural communities, as your choices as a patron are limited, as that in turn gives the bartender a little more clout as he/she has the authority to cut you off and/or throw you out at his or her discretion. This is also quite common at trendy urban clubs, for the same reasons (think asshole doorman).

So, I'm at the Kona Grill dealing with couple of cases of slight Bartender Complex, but unlike most other places, I'll give them credit, they are usually very attentive which is a good thing because the place is always busy.

Being a trendy place, I thought I'd be cool and I order a fancy vodka on the rocks, double lime. I watch the moron make it. He puts Rose's lime juice in it!! I couldn't believe it. If you don't know what Rose's lime juice is, well it's a common additive behind any bar. It's a mixture of concentrated lime juice and sugar. It's freaking nasty if not used correctly. And pouring it into straight vodka over ice is not using it correctly!! You don't have to be a trained, professional bartender to know that that is a huge no-no. It's so lame in fact, it's off the freakin' scale of poor bartending.

Turns out, he was trying to be cute or a smartass, not sure which one. As he's handing me the drink, and before I can say anything he says,

"There you go, that should be enough lime for ya."

In return, I say, "Dude (yes, I called him dude!), did you just put Rose's lime juice in this??"

His face turned white. He knows its a no-no and certainly didn't suspect that I would be either A) watching him make the drink or B) would know what the hell it was.

To his credit, he apologized and offered to make me another one. Regardless, I was still not so much pissed, but dumbfounded.

Perhaps I should just stay home.

Naw.

I hate telephones - all of them

2010-01-02T12:24:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I do. A lot of people hate cell phones, yes they are at the top of my list, but I hate all phones equally. Believe me, I hated land lines just as bad.

Not sure what kind of demented demons live inside me, but when my phone rings, I'm annoyed as hell 100% of the time. It doesn't matter if it's my mother or a telemarketer, I'm pissed.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mother and my family and friends very much, and yes, often times it is great to talk to them. But for some reason I'm seriously pissed off when the phone rings.

I've been thinking about this for quite sometime now, and I think I'm annoyed because it feels to me that someone is entering my space without a warning or permission. Also, when the phone rings it's unexpected and a surprise. I don't like surprises. I don't like to be startled either. I go ballistic when I get startled. If you want to see the wrath of a 6'1" 235 lbs Irishman, throw cold water on me in the shower. And fair warning, my reactions are physical and very unconscious, it's a "fight or flight" response. So, often times I'm startled when the phone rings. Not good, and my immediate emotional response is anger.

Unless it's some kind of pre-arranged agenda for the conversation with someone, I don't want to talk to you. Sorry. I'm sure I just offended everyone I know. But that's the god's honest truth.

I'm genuinely annoyed when the phone rings at anytime, but of course there are times when it's worse. For example, I'm at work, it's 2:30 in the afternoon, a friend will call. First off I'm annoyed my phone is vibrating, my first thoughts are, Who the fuck is this, and why are they calling me? (actually, that goes through my head every time I get a call) I answer, and my friend says,

"What are you doing?"

I'm livid at this point (although I don't let them know cause I'm a nice guy - really), and I'm thinking, What the fuck do you think I'm doing!? It's 2:30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday for christ's fucking sakes!!

And of course the phone always rings when I'm driving. I do not talk and drive, well, rarely do I ever talk and drive. Plus, I drive a stick shift, so it's almost impossible to do and very dangerous. (And NO, I'm not getting one of those douchebag hands free things, remember, I fucking hate phones!!)

And predictably, the phone always rings when I'm in line at the bank, when I'm at a restaurant, when I'm in a deep conversation with someone else, etc, etc, etc. I also don't like the phone ringing when I'm at home trying to relax. Remember, I'm at home. Trying to relax. Get it?

So, over the years, I just shut the fucking thing off. When I had a land line, it was always off, I even had the answering machine turned down all the way so it wouldn't make any noise either. So, whenever I was good and ready mentally, I would check the machine then call back if needed.

But I'll have you know, I always call back. I'm not an inconsiderate asshole like people who work in front of a computer and don't reply to emails. Those people can fuck off.

I'll also let you guys know that because of my disdain for telephones, I fairly recently got my first cellphone. I've had it for about three years now I guess. I do think they're a good thing as far as emergencies and convenience. And yes, I do use it and even text!

Let me tell you why I finally got a cellphone. Because I'd made my loathing of telephones quite clear to a few friends and family members, one friend came up with a bright idea. He said,

"Dude, you need a cellphone."

Ah, what?!?! I hate phones, remember? But he made a great point, he said,

"With a cellphone, it can always be off, it will never ring. So, you can use it at your convenience only. No one can bug you. They can call you, but you won't be annoyed."

BINGO! I got a cellphone shortly after that. With the genuine intention to always have it turned off. But, as time wore on, I eventually starting leaving it on, messing with ringtones and vibrating stuff.

But, I'm afraid, the demons have returned.

So, note to all friends and family who read this blog - my phone will be OFF. Leave a message, I'll call back.

UPDATE 1/5/10:

I've discovered something that I'm sure most know all ready.....turning off all vibrating functions and ringtones is much, much better than turning the phone all the way off. So, my phone is on, I just can't hear or feel anything. That way, I can't miss any incoming phone numbers. Several times a day, I pull it out and check to see if I've received anything. It's great!!

CIgarette butts....come on people

2009-12-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

I posted this over at Linda Lou's blog as a comment to her most recent rant, seen here. Although I spelled "sheer" wrong, I wrote "shear" and typed the word "use" instead of the correct "used"...damned spell check, shouldn't it know my usage and what I'm thinking too? Wait....no, not such a good idea.

Anyway, hear ya go, thought I'd share it with you guys-

You'd have to live here to fully realize the sheer volume of selfish, lazy, ignorant people. I've been all over the country and have never seen anything like it. Las Vegas takes the cake.

Throwing cigarette butts out the car window is the one that gets me. I used to live in the front range area of the Rocky Mountains. People simply don't do that there, including Denver. I hadn't seen anyone throw their cigarette butt out the window of a car since I was kid, back east, in the 70's.

I was floored when I saw that just about everyone does this here. What kind of person does that, anyway, seriously? What kind of person consciously throws trash out the car window? Who the fuck are these people?

The worst are the people that hang their smoldering butts out the window (because apparently they don't want the inside of their car or their clothes to smell), take a puff, blow the smoke out the window, and then just drop it on the ground when they're done.

Don't get me wrong, smoking really doesn't bother me like it does some people (I find those people kind of annoying actually - people that are always whining about cigarette smoke, that is). I'd rather not have you blow it in my face while I'm eating, but other than that, it really doesn't bother me. It’s just the act of throwing the butts on the ground that bothers me. It's that whole littering thing...wtf, you know?

Garth Hudson

2009-12-14T20:24:00.001-08:00

Enjoy.

Definition of Cool

2009-12-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

I've decided to put together a compilation of musicians who I think define cool. My definition of cool is different from most, and it's hard to describe. If I had to, it would be stage presence, music and personality, and/or a combination of those three things.

Here's a partial list, in no particular order......

Steven Stills

Freddy Mercury

70's Paul

The Highwaymen - all of them.

James Hetfield - younger version of James is much cooler.

Geddy Lee

Iggy Pop

Garth Hudson

Levon Helm - Notice two Band members in a row. I considered adding the entire group, but Robbie Robertson held me back.

David Allen Coe

Bon Scott

Jerry

Ozzy - I almost didn't include The Prince of Darkness because of his total cheese outs in the 80's. But, he is the Prince of Darkness after all.

Slash - Nobody says Gibson Les Paul and Marshall stack like Slash.

Neil Young

That's what I came up with off so far, I'm sure there's more. Remember, this isn't a list of my favorite bands or musicians necessarily, but of pure coolness.

Rock on.

Brrrrrr........

2009-12-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

Snow in the hills, just west of the Red Rock Hotel and Casino. 12/08/09

I really can't complain. Where I came from, it's been below zero for about a week. But, here in Las Vegas, it's been relatively cold the past few days. Lows in the high 20's, Highs in the low 50's. Honestly, one cannot really complain about that.

I can take it, no problem. Just as I've mentioned before about the heat, this little cold snap is more annoying than anything else. It certainly doesn't hamper life any, as it does in majority of the U.S. in winter time. I really don't have to worry about road closures, getting to and from work, getting to the airport and I can still do any outdoor activity, including golf, I just need a jacket.

Deadhead Corner - DSO News

2009-11-25T07:47:00.000-08:00

This is old news to Deadheads, but John Kadlecik has officially left the Dark Star Orchestra to join original Grateful Dead members Bob Weir and Phil Lesh's band, Further.

As noted and as with most others, I suspected this would happen. Although I wish DSO all the best moving forward, things simply will not be the same without John, sorry. As I mentioned here, John's playing and vocals (something I didn't mention ealier) are as close to Jerry Garcia as attempted by anyone.

Letter To The Fans

Posted on: November 18, 2009

Dear DSO Fan -

Thank you for joining us and being a part of this continuing, long strange trip these past 12 years. Your support and excitement for the music has kept us going strong for over 1700 shows. Throughout the years, we've had transitions both difficult and uplifting, yet the positive energy of our fan base has continued to propel our mission onward for performing this important music and for keeping this vibrant scene alive.

That said, we, as a band are entering another chapter in this story.

Dark Star Orchestra's lead guitarist and one of its founding members, John Kadlecik, has decided to resign from DSO. John's last show with us will be on Dec 5 in Buffalo. DSO is supportive of John's choice and we wish him the very best.

Dark Star Orchestra will continue to bring you this music at its highest level. In our 12 year history we have gone through three drummers, three keyboard players, three bass players and numerous rhythm guitarists and we have always managed to keep improving the sound and the experience. We will be taking on a new player with his own talents and energy and turn yet another chapter in DSO history.

Veteran guitarist Jeff Mattson of the Zen Tricksters and the Donna Jean Godchaux Band, will be joining us this week, on the New Year's Run, Jam Cruise, and for our upcoming Winter Tour that begins in February. We assure you all the things you love about the Dark Star Orchestra experience will continue and we ask for your patience, friendship and positive energy as we keep truckin' on...

Dark Star Orchestra

As you can see in the letter, the Dark Star Orchestra has done well by pulling in heavy hitter Jeff Mattson of the heavily Dead influenced band the Zen Tricksters, as well as former Grateful Dead member, Donna Jean Godchaux. No doubt these two will make the DSO experience worth seeing, but I'm still afraid ticket sales will decrease with the absence of John.

I'm fired (again)

2009-11-25T06:52:00.000-08:00

I've bitched many times about bloggers that don't post in a timely manner. I think if you're going to have a blog, you should post about once a week, minimum, depending on the content.

If your blog isn't one of those "what I did today" type blogs or some type of news or current event blogs, then you get a small pass. Since my blog is neither, I'll give myself that small pass.

But, in reality, I'm making excuses, although I have been busy lately, I still should be posting once a week or so. Because, it's certainly not for lack of content, I keep a growing list of things to write about. In my lame defense, I do open this blog every time I'm on the computer in order to remind myself of what needs to be done.

Stay tuned.

Shake Weight for Men

2009-11-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

This is freakin' hilarious!!

I couldn't stop laughing, my gut still hurts!! If this concept works, that should mean every man alive should already be ripped!!! :)

Deadhead Corner - DSO

2009-10-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

The Darkstar Orchestra. Wow. That's pretty much the only word that comes to mind to describe this band.

As you may or may not know, this band formed out of the Chicago area several years ago as a Grateful Dead tribute band. They more or less, play Grateful Dead concerts song for song. Please be aware that they do not play the songs note for note, as that would be almost impossible as the Dead were an improvisational jam band. I really hate to use those terms to describe the Dead, because the songs were very much structured. If you listen to the album, Workingman's Dead, your listening to a very structured country/rock band.

Therefore, DSO doesn't not play the songs note for note, but they do have the changes down to every song, the lyrics are eerily similar, and well as their playing styles and mannerisms on stage. The result, at least to us Deadheads is wonderful live music experience, very similar to what we're used to.

I've seen them a few times. The first two were in Fort Collins, CO at the Aggie Theatre. It was more than I expected and I was completely blown away both times.

Well, they graced us with their presence and music here in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. They christened the new Hard Rock Cafe stage at the new Hard Rock on the Strip. The room is on the second floor. It's a fairly intimate setting, my guess holding (legally, according to the fire department) about 500 people, tops. There were maybe 200 hundred at this show. Mostly, middle-aged Deadheads who have cut their hair and have since obtained day jobs, including me.

They recreated a Grateful Dead concert that was played on 9/15/72 at the Boston Music Hall, in Boston, Mass. I know it sounds utterly ridiculous to say that their recreation of this concert was better than the original, but, you know what? As a seasoned Deadhead that saw the Dead live over 100 times, I can say this very well could be true. Their performance was fantastic.

I can say this with confidence though, the gal Lisa, that sings the Donna Godchaux vocal parts, is better than Donna was. As most Deadheads know and complain about, Donna often times had a hard time hitting the right notes and staying in key. Lisa, of DSO, does not have that problem.

So, if you like the Grateful Dead, or great music for that matter, go check these guys out. You will not be disappointed. Although, the number of their shows will be limited in the near future, as the lead guitar player, John Kadlecik has been asked by Grateful Dead original members Bob Wier and Phil Lesh to join their band. This was a long time coming, and the prospect is very, very exciting. John's playing style is as close to Jerry Garcia as ever attempted by anyone.

John Kadlecik

WSOP November 9 - Winner

2009-10-19T22:50:00.000-07:00

Call it a feeling, call it whatever, but I'm taking Jeff Shulman to take the bracelet this year. Yep, you heard it here first. Why? I simply like his disposition at the table. Current odds on Shulman are about 6 to 1, I say take it.

And yeah, this is the same guy who said he'd throw the bracelet in the garbage if he won. A remark in response to his (and others) displeasure as to how the tournament has been run the past few years.

Shulman is President and COO of Card Player magazine.

Clean toilets....in public, on vacation?? No way.

2009-10-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

A little secret about finding clean, unused toilets in Las Vegas. Shhhh, don't tell anybody about this.

Seriously, I made a vow to myself that this blog will not be a Vegas insider type blog. As a matter of fact, I'm not willing to give out any of my secret places or Las Vegas stuff, because once it gets popular, it's ruined. I'm going to stick to that, but I will however, from time to time, leak some facts about this town that really should be common knowledge anyhow.

Plus the fact that the Poker Grump, (#4) gave away a secret bathroom near the MGM poker room, so I figured what the hell, the whole secret bathroom thing in Las Vegas has been tainted anyway. (lol, just kidding Grump)

So, if any of you are like me, as I'll assume you are, we're all Americans that drink too much and eat bad food, then you find yourself from time to time needing someplace clean to sit down for business purposes. For the guys, I'm talking about finding a nice clean place to take a dump, and for the ladies, well, I guess it's for just about everything that you do in there.

I'll also assume, that most, like me, would rather be at home when this feeling strikes, or at the very least, be in or near your hotel room. But, often times while on vacation or away from the house, this is impossible. So, most of the time, we just have to make due with what's available, and we all know all too well that this sometimes is not pretty, not pretty at all.

Well, in Las Vegas, both on the Strip or Downtown, you're in luck. (Here comes the little secret...shhhh) First, on the Strip. Most major hotels have huge convention areas, ballrooms, banquet areas, etc. These areas of the property are always away from the casino floor, usually on the second floor, or on a completely different wing of the building. And guess what? Yep, all these areas have bathrooms. Nice clean bathrooms too, the ones that only get used when a conference is in full swing or a special event is occurring. The rest of the time they sit empty.

And even if a conference is happening, I'll guarantee you that the bathrooms will be cleaner and not as crowded as the ones on the casino floor.

Here's the second part of the little secret. Now that you know where to go, you have to play the part to get there. First of all, act like you own the place. Follow the signs to the convention areas from the casino floor and just keep walking til you find a bathroom. Don't stop and look around, act confused, etc, as any casino employee will not stop you if you look like you know what you're doing and where you're going. (Just a side note, these area ARE generally open to the public, it's not like you're doing anything wrong, but being prudent about the whole thing can help you avoid any potential hassles, plus, you get to the bathroom quicker!)

The third tip is to always remember to dress nice. This helps you blend in. You should do this while in Vegas anyway. Although, as a local I don't always adhere to this rule. I'm not talking about a three-piece suit or even a jacket, just something, well....nice. Business casual is perfect, but not many people are dressed that way on vacation, of course.

Now, if you're Downtown and the mood strikes, you're options are severely limited. Some of the Downtown properties do have convention/meeting areas, and if you look hard enough you can find them. So, if and when you do, follow the same rules I mentioned above.

But, a big problem with the facilities Downtown (besides lack thereof) is the fact that a lot of homeless and street people use these restrooms on a daily basis, pretty much as their own personal toilets. So, needless to say, some of the even more secluded crappers can be just plain freakin' nasty.

There is a solution, but the downside is, it's not free. But, it's a very viable solution and one I recommend. And that's to simply walk west on Fremont St down to the Plaza or Golden Gate and get a room. Yes, I said get a room. Most weekdays, rooms at these places are $19.99 or slightly more.

So, think about it. For $20 bucks, you get a clean shitter, all to yourself, or you and your wife or everyone in your party for that matter, all freakin' day or night. If you're on vacation (or local) you're dropping 20 dollar bills in the VP machines anyway or spending $20 on this or that the entire time as it is. And, not only is the room great for taking a dump, you can use it to get away from the craziness for a while, take a nap, watch some tv, or to eat in peace.

This is also a good idea for long haul poker players that are Downtown. Getting a cheap room gives you a chance to get away from the table for a while, take a nap, use the bathroom, etc.

So, there you have it. No reason to fret anymore after 15 Budweisers and two deep fried Twinkies. You've got a plan. You're covered.

And, you're welcome.
-TVF

I'm too nice.

2009-10-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

I'm too fucking nice.

I usually always try to convince myself this is ok because of one of my all time favorite quotes: "Never confuse kindness for weakness".

But in reality, I'm too nice because I avoid conflict like the plague. I can only debate with someone so long, then it gets ugly. I usually fall prey to my aggressor's baiting.

The Snub

2009-09-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

What is the snub? My definition of the snub is being ignored by someone you know or someone you have come in contact with in the past. You know, that quick look away by someone you are about to say “hi” to or acknowledge. The snub is generally a premeditated, purposeful, fearful and disrespectful act. The snub can take place at any physical distance, but the most disturbing snub is the one that takes place within earshot of the perpetrator.

Types of snubs:

The “Co-worker sees you in public” snub.

The “Person you were talking to last night at the bar or party” snub. Apparently, this person is embarrassed by talking to you or ashamed of his/her inebriation or both. This one really bothers me, especially if you’ve talked to this person at length, for several hours the night before. The conversation is usually on a personal level because people generally loosen up after a few drinks.

The “We used to be friends” snub.

The “We used to work together” snub.

The “We have a mutual friend and have been introduced” snub.

The “We had a class together” snub. Classic.

The “I work or you work at someplace either party frequents regularly” snub. Such as a bank teller. He/she is very nice to you while working, then snubs your outside the bank – what?

The “You are friends with my ex” snub. Classic but dumb. We were friends then, right? Or was it just contrived. At least get it out in the air.

The “I used to work for you (former employer)” snub. This one drives me crazy, especially if we parted ways on good terms.

The “I used to rent from you (former landlord)” snub. Another classic.

The “You are a peon (company bigshot)” snub. One of the company bigshots snubs you in the break room. WTF?

There are more. The basic premise is, just don't be a fucking dick.

Adding, "The Linda McCartney" snub, contributed by Wolynski. Described as "The worst snub is by someone who you hung out with and suddenly they married rich or got rich and dropped you like a hot potato - not in their class anymore. It's the Linda McCartney sydrome - once she hooked up with Paul, on more old chums."

Controlled Aggression

2009-09-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the new documentary on Mike Tyson, entitled simply Tyson. It's a good look at the life of a confused, troubled man.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending this individual. However, I do sympathize with him and those like him. Simply, you cannot train an individual to be a violent monster one minute, then ask him to shut it off the next minute. Sorry, like it or not, it doesn't work that way.

What happened this past weekend at the end of the Oregon/Boise St game is another good example. Again, I don't condone these actions, but I do understand why they occur.

I'm fired

2009-09-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

...and I'm a hypocrite. I've complained and noted before that I get highly annoyed at bloggers that don't post at least once a week. I'm guilty as of late. Sorry. My excuse is the same as everyone else's - I've been busy. I do however, have a list of new blog topics to write about. I'm looking at the sticky note with the list right now. Don't worry - I should have something new in the next day or two.

-TVF

Flea Bite #13

2009-08-28T18:01:00.001-07:00

Never rock a speedo AND a mullet.

Hot August Nights

2009-08-28T16:51:00.000-07:00

Not to be confused with the event in Reno every year, Hot August Nights. I'm talking about the temperature in the Mojave Desert in August, at night.

I'm not one to complain about the heat. As a matter of fact, I rather enjoy it. I posted about that here a while a ago. But if there's one thing about the hot weather in Las Vegas that does bother me, it's the nighttime low's. As I've said before, I don't mind the heat. But I don't like low's in the 80's and even the 90's (although 90's are rare in Las Vegas, not so much in the surrounding areas, such as Laughlin, NV where low's in the 90's in the summer are quite common).

First, I guess I'll have to explain a little. I could be like most Las Vegans and crank my air conditioning non-stop, 24/7. But I refuse to do that because like I've said a thousand times, the heat really doesn't bother me like it apparently does others. I tend to keep the internal ambient air of my house at the highest most tolerable temperature during the summer. So, unlike my neighbors, my A/C doesn't run day and night. I also have a programable theromstat that allows me to adjust according to different times of the day automatically. Therefore, I can set my night time temperature a little different than the daytime tempture in the house.

I generally set the nighttime temp a little lower for a couple of reasons. One; it's nicer to sleep a little cooler in my opinion and two; you assume the nighttime temperature is going to fall as the sun goes down and the night wears on, so why keep the A/C cranked, right? Wrong. This is where the problem lies. Yes, the temperature does drop some 20 degrees generally at night in Las Vegas, but this happens s-l-o-w-l-y. Example, tonight's forecast for 12am is 93F. Yikes. You have to remember that if the forecast is for a low of 83F, you're talking about that temperature at 5:30am, right before the sun comes up, and not a minute sooner.

I think it's more annoying than anything else, and something I'll just have to get used to. I've lived all over the US, and I guess I still expect things to cool off at night.

It's especially bad if I've had a few beers the night before. Nothing says HANGOVER like the dry heat of a mid-summer night in the Mojave. Oh, maybe that's where the idea for this post came from....hum. Water!....I need water!

History of the Goatee

2009-08-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

I received a minor in History in college. I had a history professor tell us that the true history of the goatee comes from the Romans.

Roman men used to force their male slaves to shave their facial hair this way in order to make them look like vaginas. You figure the rest out......

Just an fyi.......

The history professor was actually my friend's father. He told us this in class and in other social settings. It was a favorite story of his at Christmas parties, no joke.

On a side note, as childish as it is, my friends and I from that class still find the "pussy mouth" jokes incredibly funny. Here are some examples:

"The 70's Stylie"

"The Landing Strip"

"The Dickbroom" (more up top)

"The Ballmop" (more down below)

And, last but not least......

"The Brazilian"

(And, before you guys that wear goatees send me hate mail, I didn't make this shit up. The history professor did actually tell us this. The story was fairly popular around campus for a couple of years. And, my friends that do wear goatees think this is funny as hell, you should too!)

Email Etiquette

2009-08-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

Email etiquette. This is something that's been bothering me for quite sometime. I assumed there had been numerous studies on the subject and that some board or wanna-be think tank would have come up with some die-hard rules when in comes to proper email etiquette. But, to my dismay, after searching online for some time, I really couldn't find anything.

I did find this article, but this piece is similar to others I've found, which is more about relationships with co-workers and clients at work, as opposed to email etiquette in general - which is what I was looking for.

My biggest gripe is this: If I know that you're in front of a computer at least part of the day or you own and use a Blackberry or something similar, and you do not respond to my email in a timely manner, you're on my shitlist.

To reiterate, this really only applies to people who are "wired", as in, they have a computer related job or are in front of a computer most of the day because of their job or they use a Blackberry or some other similar device to stay wired and to do business.

People who have jobs that require them to not be in front of a computer are exempt from my shitlist, at least for a 24-48 hour period. And, there are a lot of these people; restaurants and service industry type jobs, construction workers, delivery people, etc. But, that does not mean they don't have a Blackberry.

Example: You work in an office environment and are in front of computer each and every day. This is a professional type position and are able to freely check your email as many times as you'd like (as a matter of fact, most people get alerts as new emails come in). I email you with a specific request or question, something that needs to be addressed (jokes and fun links, etc are exempt). You don't respond for the rest of the day. Fuck you.

Why the angst? Because I know you received and/or read my email. Therefore, your lack of response says one thing. And that is, you've moved me to the bottom of your list of priorities. So, that tells me exactly what you think of either 1) me or 2) my request or question or business transaction. So, fuck you then. Really.

Of course, if it's an emergency or an important business transaction with a timeline, I'm on the phone or physically heading towards your office. But, honestly, if that's the case, I probably woudn't be emailing anyway, unless it's a reminder type email.

Here's a couple of other examples. I have a couple of friends that live in front of a computer. One is a computer programmer, database/web guru, and I know he's in front of a computer most weekdays at least 10 hours a day, for both business and pleasure. I'll email him from time to time. I'll hear nothing for days, sometimes weeks. What am I supposed to think about that? What would you think about that? My first reaction is, well, "fuck you." But then two weeks later I'll receive a response from him. Basically, that's telling me I'm not really this guy's friend, or his priority about getting back to me is very low. Both reasons are disappointing and simultaneously insulting.

The other friend is in front of a computer at least as much. But this friend just refuses to use email as viable communication resource. He's an old school computer guy. His reasoning stems from the beginning of email, years ago, when people treated it the same as snail mail. As in, you receive a letter from someone, you respond to them when you get time (this is his excuse anyway). If he doesn't think it's important at that very moment, then he won't respond, regardless of how close a friend you are. Despite that, this guy is still a good friend, his actions are more annoying than anything else. But at the same time, I sometimes feel he doesn't really give a shit about our friendship for reasons I've given here.

I believe I have a legitimate gripe here because it only takes seconds to hit reply and type something...literally seconds. And if you can't find the time do that, well then....fuck you.

Fuck you, why??

Because you are blatantly refusing to acknowledge your friend, client or co-worker, and that person knows you're doing it. So, that tells me you don't give a shit about that relationship or business transaction.

Lame Las Vegas gaming bars

2009-08-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's over for me. Fuck these places. I'm referring to all the chain and independent gaming bars around town. These places suck. They suck hard.

But what's really lame is, in Las Vegas, there's not really an alternative, as far as bars are concerned. Well, except for those yuppie type places like the Kona Grill, The Yardhouse, etc. Although yuppie is probably not the right word because I believe you actually have to have a college degree to be a yuppie...something 90% of Las Vegans do not have. As a matter of fact, I was having a discussion with a college professor last night (yes, a real live college professor with a PhD, in Las Vegas, wow!), and he told me the high school graduation rate is only 70% in the Las Vegas valley, but that's another story.

Back to the lame ass gaming bars. I'm done with them. What happened last week was the straw that broke the camel's back. A friend and I had a couple of coupons for free picthers of beer at Timbers. I usually don't do coupons in Las Vegas, even though they're insanely popular, because generally you'll get treated like shit by the staff (bartenders, dealers, etc) because they think you're trying to be cheap and they're not going to get a decent tip - which is lame as fucking hell, but once again, that's another story.

So, we drive to the local Timbers not far from my house. Immediately, we're treated like shit because of the coupons. Well, not immediately, as she (the bartender) was extremely nice to us til my friend pulled out the coupons. Her change in attitude just solidifies my Las Vegas coupon theory.

First, she accused us of trying to use an outdated coupon, as in, trying to cheat her out of a fucking pitcher of beer. Arghh. As a matter of fact, the coupon was not outdated, it had been folded in my friend's pocket for quite some time and the date was not legible. Since we were already labeled in her pea-brained little head as cheap-ass coupon cutters, she just assumed we were trying to cheat her. Not cool.

Were we trying to get some free beer? You're damned right we were! But we were trying to do it legitimately. As well as the free beer, we planned to have lunch. See, that's the irony here. These places print these coupons in order to get people in the door and spend money on other stuff like gambling and food.

For lack of a better term, that bartender was an idiot. Not only did we have money in our pockets to leave a nice tip, we were also planning on spending more money on other stuff like gambling and food! As it turned out, she got nothing. Which also sucks because in her mind, that probably just solidified her theory about coupon cutters being cheap-asses.

We had another coupon that was in better shape so we did get our free pitcher of beer, and we ended up ordering food, basically because we were too lazy to go somewhere else. Something we should have done because it got worse.

In addition to all the other complaints I have about these places, the food generally sucks. This day was no exception. As mentioned before, I used to cook. So, I have a pretty good idea what's fresh and what's not. The food at these gaming bars are generally straight off the Sysco truck. Believe me, I know Sysco food from my years cooking. It's high in fat, additives and preservatives, and 100% frozen. It's awful. BTW, most other chain restaurants such as Applebee's, Fridays, etc use this stuff or something similar.

So, we choke it down and are getting ready to leave. My friend heads to the bathroom as I prepare to pay the tab. At that moment, two big dudes come in and sit down next to where we were at the bar. Par for the course, the biggest dude wants to sit and play at the machine where my friend was sitting, and where his unfinished beer currently sat. I told the big dude if he could wait a minute or two, we were leaving. He didn't care and took my friends seat, remember his beer was still there, along with his to-go box of food.

My friend comes out of the bathroom and sees this dude in his seat. My friend, rightfully so, makes a few comments to the dude, basically telling him the same thing I did, that if he'd wait a minute, we were getting ready to leave. Well, this dude was looking for trouble, and my friend is the type that won't back down to really anyone, so they got their dicks out and it almost turned ugly. Of course, the bartender took the big dude's side, as we were obviously cheap, scamming sumbags already. To make a long story short, I diffused the situation and we left.

This situation with the big dude was a direct correlation with something I've complained about before, The Cat and Mouse Game. A big reason I hate these gaming bars.

Besides this incident, and The Cat and Mouse Game, I have a whole series of other reasons I hate these places, such as the their lame attempt to bring in customers (besides coupons) and their horrible gaming pay tables.

Along with all of that, and the complete lack of bar scene in Las Vegas, it makes the whole thing horrible. Maybe I should just give up. Or, somebody lend me some money and I'll open a real bar in Las Vegas. Seriously.

*Edited version. Sorry for all the spelling and grammar errors in the first draft. I was upset and in a hurry when I drafted this post yesterday.

Flea Bite #12

2009-07-31T23:40:00.001-07:00

If a person has never been to your house or apartment, they're probably not a true friend. Think about it.

Hair

2009-07-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

What's the big deal? Really. Why are we so obsessed with our hair?

My guess is that its a commercial infusion of hair products into our pea-brains, with the not-so-underlying notion that we need to look good. I suppose. Me, I don't really buy into it. Don't get me wrong, I like to look good, but for some reason, my hair is not on the top of my list of things I worry about.

I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I have indeed have hair, lots of it.* I'm reminded of this every time I go to get it cut. The stylist or barber always has to comment on how thick my hair is and how much of it I have. Quite frankly, their comments are annoying as I know it's coming at some point during the operation.

I guess I should be happy about that, as some men have little hair or none at all. But, I've always felt I'd feel the same way regardless. As in, I really don't put that much stock in hair and I believe if I had none or was going bald, I'd be perfectly ok with it. As a matter of fact, I am indeed going grey and could give a rat's ass.

Because I don't put much stock in my hair, it leads to some interesting dilemmas as far as cutting it or lack there of. At one point, my hair was so long that I could tuck my braided pony tail into the back of my pants. Now, for the last 10 years or so, I keep it cut short, kinda...it varies.

It varies, simply because, as I've mentioned, I don't think much about my hair. The result then is, me getting a haircut every three or four months. Much to the dismay of the stylists at SuperCuts. I honestly think I offend them.

Sorry, but I don't get a haircut until I need one. What constitutes needing one to me? Well, when it starts to get in my eyes and over my ears, then I start thinking about a hair cut. And when I do get it cut, I want it cut as short as possible, as this only makes logical sense to me. I don't get it shaved, I hate that jarhead look (see, I do think about it a little). I get it cut as short as they can do it with scissors. I know this is a pain in ass, so I always tip well.

Again, I know this is annoying and quite possibly offensive to the people that cut my hair. After all, hair is their life, at least their livelihood. I'm sure people like me get under their skin. This really isn't an assumption, as I've been the victim of many a snide comment in the chair over the years. Mainly because they know that I haven't been there in months, and probably won't be returning for several months in the future.

As a matter of fact, SuperCuts has a free haircut promotion that I'm attempting to take advantage of. It's one free cut after 8 paid cuts. They give you a little card of which they mark with intials and the date when you get a haircut. I figure it will take me about three years before I get my free haircut.

At one point, I decided I'd had enough of that crap, so I started shaving it myself. Don't laugh, I did a pretty decent job if I do say so myself. I made sure it wasn't a jarhead cut, but it was shaved down to less than an inch, none the less. This was, however, a time in my life when I could freely were a ballcap just about everywhere I went, of which I would do for the first month after a fresh shave. I did this not because I was ashamed of my haircut, but because I really didn't want the shaved or jarhead look, so I'd keep it covered for a month or so until it had a bit of length that I could at least comb.

I now go to a barber or one of those chain hair cutting places, such as SuperCuts, basically because I'm lazy. And the fact that this damned hair just won't stop growing. I guess that's a good thing. But, as far as men are concerned, I still don't really get what the big deal about our hair is, or lack there of.

*trying not to get too personal, I do however, feel compelled to tell you that my head really is the only place on my body where my hair is thick. I don't want anyone thinking that I'm some kind of hairy backed gorilla kind of dude. Besides my head, I'm quite the opposite actually.

Local Video Poker Success and Failure

2009-07-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before, my gambling consists of sports betting, poker, and video poker. Video poker for me is more of something I just do while sitting at a bar. I do however, know "perfect play" or close to it, enough to get the payback as close to 100% as possible. I'm also very familiar with the pay tables and their influence on your chances of winning or not.

But I freely admit I am certainly no expert on the game, nor do a ever plan to be. It's simply too hard to beat, in my humble opinion. But there are others that beg to differ, as there is a lot of literature written about this game, devoted websites, CDs, etc.

Still though, I continue to play. I'm guilty as the next mark, as often times I play just because it's there. Which, obviously is the goal of the evil empire by placing a damned machine at every bar stool. But, it's choice I make. And sometimes, I win.

So, I thought I'd like to share with you the establishments in Las Vegas where I have had better success (ie; win more). And I'd like to share with you those places where I consistently do poorly.

This is more of a vindictive post against those places where I do poorly, as compared to praising those places that I have occasional success.

Occasional Success:

The Suncoast
The Red Rock - certain bars*
Four Queens

Yep, that's it. Short list. Three fucking places.

Now for long list. At most of these places, you might as well just stand outside the front door and light your cash on fire. As this would save you the time and energy of entering the place.

Consistent Failure (places I haven't won a fucking dime):

All Harrah's properties, including:
The Flamingo
The Rio
Caesars
Bally's
Paris
IP
Several MGM properties**:
Mandalay Bay
MGM
Mirage
New York, New York
Excalibur
Almost all of the shitty little gaming bars around town, including***:
PT's
Sago's
Timbers
Brewskies
The Outside Inn
Big Dogs
McMullans
Crown and Anchor
...I'll stop there, as this list could be as long as the total amount of these places in all of Las Vegas, my guess is that there are several hundred of them dotted around the valley.

I'll elaborate on the gaming bars. These places are the worst. The pay tables and their "hold" on the games is horrendous. But still, people play them, including me very occasionally. And I say occasionally very sincerely, as there are other problems with playing in these places, including the shitty cat and mouse game. Often times at these places, you can put a twenty in and not win a single hand. As in, no two pair, no three of a kind, no nothing. It's pretty amazing actually.

When that happens, most of the time I just laugh. But sometimes if I'm in a bad mood it will piss me off. Because we all know they're making the money in the long run, an not just a little bit of money, a lot. I'm conscious of this, but still elect to gamble at their establishment. So, for that, I'd at least like to get somewhat of a fair shake. And at some of these places, that's never gonna happen. You have about a zero chance of winning any money, even in the short term.

*Forget the Cabo Bar at the Red Rock. It should be on my list of never winning a dime, because quite frankly, I haven't. And I play there a lot. Against my better judgement I find myself at the bar for a couple of reasons. The biggest reason (and one of my biggest complaints about the Red Rock) is that there are no real bars in the place. As in, an establishment off the casino floor that you can actually sit down and try to relax. And two, it's a place I can order food. So, I'm talking about frequenting the place several times a month for the past few years and not winning a dime.

**The MGM properties in Las Vegas not listed are places that I haven't played much VP or none at all.

***There is one place that I have won a few times. I'm not reveiling it though, sorry.

NASCAR - My Take

2009-07-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

Ah...NASCAR, the fastest growing sport in America. Or at least that was their claim a few years ago. I tend to believe those numbers have dropped off recently. I have a theory as to why (besides the economy).

It's said that those who don't like NASCAR or can't understand why anyone would (especially after watching it on TV, which is nothing more than 40 or so cars going around in a circle with an occasional crash), should attend a live race. That, I was told, would make all the difference.

So four months ago, back in early March, that's exactly what I did. I attended a live race. In short, the theory didn't work for me, as I'm now less interested in NASCAR than ever before. As a matter of fact, I now don't even look at the race results in the newspapers or online, something I would very occasionally do prior to attending my first race.

But, here's the thing: I thought I would like it. I can't say I'm a big fan of motorsports, but I really do like motor vehicles of all types. I've owned Harley's, trucks, cars, dirtbikes, you name it. I enjoy working on them. I've done almost every kind of repair or customization on motorcycles, cars, and trucks that you can think of, other than major motor work. I enjoy the technology. I guess you could say I'm into that kind of thing.

So, naturally, you'd think I'd like attending a race. Nope. It sucked, to tell you the truth.

I was excited to go. My race friends came to town, all of which are NASCAR race veterans. We made a whole weekend out of it. I actually stayed on the strip the night after the race, so I wouldn't have to cab it home. Don't get me wrong, the time spent with my friends was great. The NASCAR race, ummm, not so much.

After attending hundreds of college football and basketball games, throw in a few NFL games, I can honestly say there is no comparison. Those sporting events are 110% more exciting than a NASCAR race. Even when my football team was getting their asses kicked, I still had more fun.

For those of you that have never attended and often wondered what a race is like compared to what you see on TV, well, it's about the same...only louder, smellier, and quite possibly even more boring. There are several reasons for this. One, unless you get the scanner (the headphones you see people wearing at races), you really don't know what's going on. Especially after a few laps when the leaders of the race start to catch up to the slower cars. After that point (which is the majority of the race) you have a whole race track of semi-evenly spaced cars going around in a circle, over and over and over again. You can look at the leader board and see who the top drivers are, but when they speed past you at 180 mph, all mixed in with the slower cars, it's kind of pointless if you ask me.

Of course, what's supposed to be the exciting part of the race is the crashes. Exciting as they may be (and I might sound like a total wuss here), I'm really not that interested in seeing anyone getting hurt crashing at 180 mph. And we all know, that certainly can happen.

Another thing I didn't enjoy about the race, was the fact that there are no breaks. As is true of all races, I suppose. As in, there is no halftime. They don't just stop to take a break. Football and basketball games are great for this, as you can go get another beer, food and go to the bathroom.

The closest thing to that at a race is the caution flag, which is flown when there's been an incident on the track, such as a crash, and all the cars need to pit or slow down for several laps. So one would think that a caution flag would be a great time to go pee and get a beer. Well, no.

Because I found out that one of the more exciting parts to the race is the restart. This is when the cars all bunch up together again, just like the beginning of the race, and then take off at full speed when the green flag is dropped again. This is potentially exciting for a couple of reasons: one, when the cars are all together it is very loud, which is cool; and two, when they're together like that, it heightens the chance of crash, so of course, nobody wants to miss that!

Therefore, it's a catch-22, as you don't want to just leave while there's a green flag and they're going full bore and there could be a crash or something, nor do you want to leave while there's a caution flag because you don't want to miss the restart.

Well, I was fairly bored after the initial excitement of the start of the race. So, I just invented my own halftime at one point, and just got up and left my seat for about 45 minutes. I walked around, ate some carnival food, as that's what's mostly there. If don't know what carnival food is, that means you've never been to a state fair, midway or a carnival, and I truly feel sorry for you, as I'm not explaining it.

Of course, besides all the food vendors, there are tons of other swag vendors as well, the usual t-shirts and hats, tube-tops (just kidding), etc. But one exception is that it seemed each team or each driver has their own swag truck parked in an area right outside the main gate to sell and swing their own personal swag. And by truck, I don't mean a pick-up truck, I mean a full semi, complete with trailer.

Speaking of each team or driver, that's brings up another thought. One thing that is for certain, it seems all the NASCAR fans have their own "driver" or the guy they support or cheer for. So, everyone seems to wear their colors, similar to devoted football fans, I suppose, like the dorks that wear the jerseys (something that I obviously do not do).

But what I found interesting is, what happens when your driver is out of the race at the very beginning? This happened to the couple sitting in front of us. They were completely covered from head to toe with this guy's colors and sponsors. But the driver (can't remember who) crashed right away, minutes into the race.

So I'm thinking, what happens then? Do you go home? I think that's what you should do. That makes logical sense, right? If you're that devoted of a fan, and your boy isn't racing that day, then what's the point? (Also, I'd like to add that apparently as a fan of a certain driver, you're supposed to hate certain other drivers too...ironically, in this case, the guys still in the race!)

To make yet another football comparison, even if my team is getting their asses kicked, I can still watch them play. But if you're driver's out of the race, you can't watch him drive. The only drivers left are guys you hate, so then, why are you there??? It'd be like me driving to up to Salt Lake City to see BYU and Utah play a football game - two teams I utterly hate. That's not ever happening, ever. So, don't even give me that crap that you're a fan of the sport (racing), so that's why you're staying. Believe me, you'll be hard pressed to find a bigger college football fan than myself, but I ain't ever going to see BYU play another team other than my own, ever.

Now, with all that said, I'd like to go back to my theory as to why I think NASCAR fans are recently dwindling - it's because of guys like me.

Someone who bought into their recent ad campaigns, who heard the stats about being the most popular sport, watched it recently televised on network TV, who's into cars, who likes beer, who likes sporting events, happens to be male....then to actually go to a race only to be disappointed with the fact that the whole thing kind of sucks.

Amateurs

2009-07-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I know about in this world, it's drinking. I've been accused of being a jack of all trades, master of none. In other words, I know a little bit about a lot of things, but I'm not an expert in anything. However, there are a few exceptions.

The social aspects of drinking alcohol is one of them. Drinking for me has been, and always will be, a social thing. I don't sit here at my computer with a beer in my hand. If I'm drinking, I'm out doing something; I'm at a restaurant or bar, at a picnic, at an event (sporting or concert), etc.

The 4th of July is no exception. I had to work in the morning/early afternoon on the 4th this year. No biggie, I was done by 3pm. The neighbors up the street had been planning a block party. Being somewhat of a rural guy, I'd never really been to a "real" block party, so I was kind of excited. Not to mention the fact that the block they live on has an unobstructed view of the Red Rock Casino and their annual fireworks display.

Unfortunately, the 4th of July falls into the category of one of many amateur drinking dates. Or, what my buddy Davey calls "amateur nights."

To explain, amateur night is when all the "normal" people drink (Davey is a hardcore alcoholic). But as a seasoned social drinker, I can relate too. Amateur nights include all major holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, the 4th, etc, and especially the "drinking" holidays such as New Years Eve, St Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo.

Amateur nights are the times when those that don't drink very often come out of the suburbs and abuse alcohol, the law, their bodies and their surroundings. They can't handle it. They're fish out of water. It usually leads to things like fights, DUI's, puking and general social misconduct.

Also, most participants of amateur nights really don't think things through. For example, they don't think about what they're gonna feel like the next day. My neighbors are no exceptions.

Although, the 3rd of July isn't really considered an amateur night, it was part of the amateur weekend that just occurred. So, these amateur neighbors of mine decided to get hammered drunk the night before the 4th, on Friday, the 3rd. Bad decision. This is a perfect example of a huge amateur mistake, especially with big plans for the next day. They didn't think things through.

They were all sick and miserable the next day, not just any other day, but the 4th of fucking July, the day they had planned for months for their big block party. Well, needless to say, in typical amateur fashion, they bailed on the party. The party didn't happen because they're idiots. Yes, I was a little pissed as I could have done a number of different things that night. But the prospect of not having to drive or take a cab somewhere was very appealing, especially on an amateur night.
Arghhh!!

However, it still kind of happened, as they had tons and tons of food. So, the one guy, the original organizer, decided to just BBQ in his backyard, as opposed to out front on the street. Because I was committed, I wandered over there.

It was really uncomfortable because everyone was tired and in a bad mood. Hungover parents yelling at their kids and dogs...not a good scene. Besides the fact that it felt like a private party despite the entire neighborhood being invited over a month ago. The thing of it was, they really, desperately wanted to cancel the whole thing, but knew they technically couldn't, so they moved it to the backyard and made everyone not in their immediate family uncomfortable. Completely. Fucking. Lame.

I did manage to salvage the evening somewhat. Of course, I didn't stick around at the backyard BBQ. I felt and saw what was going on, so I stuck around long enough to act like I wanted to be there (because I was in fact, invited, and wanted to remind them of that), and then promptly left. On the way home, I bumped into another neighbor that was, ironically, involved in the festivities the night before, hence somewhat responsible for the 4th of July debacle. But he's a little more mature and he and I decided to make a mellow night of it. Which turned out to be quite pleasant, as he has a huge screen TV, kick ass sound system and is into live music as much as I am. So, we vegged on the green furniture while watching live concert footage of David Gilmore and Jeff Beck. It was cool.

But the other folks...typical amateurs.

Las Vegas Weather

2009-06-30T13:11:00.001-07:00

The weather in Las Vegas is nothing compared to the picture above. But, in the northern Rockies, where I moved from, it is. As a matter of fact, there is legitimately 6 months of true winter most years, and it can snow 10 months out of the year. You people people wanna complain about a couple of months of heat in Las Vegas? I just laugh. Compared to what I just described, I'll take a little heat for two or three months.

Let me explain. You see, it's hot right now, 103 degrees Fahrenheit to be exact. But, unlike where I used to live, I can still: drive to the airport, play golf, go swimming, ride my bike, change the oil in my car, BBQ, play horseshoes, go boating, fish, do yardwork...I think or hope you get my point. Yeah, it's hot, but anyone in decent shape and with proper hydration, can still enjoy the outdoors when it's hot. And remember, this is still only 2 or 3 months out of the year, not 10.

To make a comparison, when it's 40 below zero, you really can't do many of those things listed. And, if you can, it's not going to be enjoyable. Believe me, I've done emergency work on vehicles in minus-30 degree weather, and that's not an exaggeration. It's not fun.

Some locals have made the comment that after a few years here, I'll think differently about the heat. Well, I'm 39 years old, and know myself quite well, and with confidence, I can say this: after enduring practically year round winter weather for almost 20 years, I can take, and will even go so far as to enjoy, a couple of months of 100+ degree dry heat.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going outside to trim the hedges (not kidding).

Fax Machines....It's not 1985 anymore people.

2009-06-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before, I've started my own small business. Try as I have, I cannot get around that ancient communication device known as the fax machine.

It's not 1985 anymore, one would think that technology would have surpassed these freaking boat anchors. I know, I know, there are digital fax programs where one can do his/her faxing duties from never leaving the computer chair. And that's all cool with me, as I have a digital signature. But you know damned well 99% of most people do not.

I realize I'm not alone. All businesses, small and large still use the fax machine on a daily basis. It's that damned "signature" that's always needed that causes the problem and almost makes a fax machine necessary. You know the old line, "Please sign and return". It's really hard to get around, almost impossible. It's a necessary evil.

So, I broke down and acquired a boat anchor fax machine. Oh, and apparently you can't just buy a fax machine, they don't make those anymore, you have to purchase the copy/fax/scan machine. But as most people, I already have a perfectly good copier/scanner. Arghhh.

I'd like to think I'm fairly tech savvy. I did, surprisingly enough, graduate from college not so long ago (in my 30's) with a computer database type degree. But fax machines and copy machines still have my number. I'm like the experimental monkey trying to figure out the square peg/round hole problem when it comes to these machines.

It's simply because I've never really had to figure them out. In school, the computer lab dude was there to deal with such things. At work after college (engineering type firms) there was always the IT department. And, most of the time I was fortunate enough to have a clerical staff to take of things like faxing and copying for me, of which I was most appreciative of, especially now that I'm forced to deal with these evil things myself.

The video below pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now (one of my all time favorite movies as well)...

Ahhh.....the anonymity of the internet

2009-06-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

I post on several message boards semi-regularly. At times, I've been a message board junkie, almost addicted. Other times, I won't post or even browse a particular message board for months. And sometimes, I just stop posting at a particular board all together.

But over the years, one thing I've noticed is that the message boards where people actually get together and meet up with one another, face to face, in person, are the best ones. Or, at the very least, the most civil.

I was reminded of this while on the Strip a few days ago, partying with a friend that was in town. We bumped into two AVPers. AVP is an acronym for a great Las Vegas based poker site called All Vegas Poker. We bumped into AlaskaGal and Minton. Both of which have ongoing blogs over at AVP here and here. I hadn't met Minton, but was very familar with his posting from the AVP discussion forums. So, it was nice to get a face with a fictitious internet handle or name.

Which made me think about the whole anonymity thing again. Members of All Vegas Poker are very open about who they are, complete with picture threads, etc. But, this is as it should be of course, because after all, the site is dedicated to playing live poker in Las Vegas which requires getting off the couch and actually interacting with real live humans. To the dismay of all online poker players...sorry. (sarcasm) They also host meet-and-greet events such as poker tournaments, etc. The result is a pleasant, civil, fairly adult message board on their website.

But, it's been my experience that this is not the norm.

It's usually nothing but personal attacks, fighting and bickering. There's one popular poker forum (probably thee most popular on the net) that I can't even browse it's so bad. There's another very popular sports betting message board that unfortunately, I still participate on, but it's almost as bad. Then there's another small, local sports betting message board that I visit from time to time, that freely let's some of it's member's make physical threats to other members because of their political affiliation^, because "they've met the guy, had dinner with him, and he seems nice."

By "they" I'm referring to message board moderators. Just like any other human being put into a position of authority, they seem to want to do the right thing, but the fact of the matter is, it's just too subjective of a job. When you give somebody the freedom to edit or moderate other people's comments, their personal emotions, feelings and agendas will come to the surface sooner or later. I see it time and time again on message boards.

And I'm not talking about just gambling related message boards such as poker and sports. When you have minute, take a look at TripAdvisor's* Las Vegas forum. It's awful. There are some of the most condescending, self-righteous jerk-offs on that message board that I've seen (or read).

It all comes down to being an internet tough guy (or gal), some keyboard jockey in their underwear. But when it's time to face the music, as in, show your real identity, things change. It's funny that way.

*I've made reference to TripAdvisor, but refuse to mention the other poker forum or sports betting forum, neither deserve the web traffic.

^I was not the one threatened. Although, I did send the moderator (of whom I know and met in person), and that was the lame ass answer he gave me.

Computer Start-up Time

2009-06-15T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'd like to think I'm a patient person. But we've all been there. You just shut down your machine and you've forgotten to check something, something important. Or maybe it isn't something important and you just want to check something quick. Well, with todays Windows operating systems, we all know that ain't happenin'.

I realize there are reasons for this. I also realize there are things you can do to speed this process up, including just keeping your computer on, as a lot of PC users do. But, I have laptop, a mobile laptop and I ain't to keep it running. I know, I know...it goes into hibernate mode...etc, But I'm still not that comfortable leaving it on for a variety of reason, of which I'm not going to get into.

The way I look at it, this isn't the 1950's when you had to give your TV time to "warm up". But, perhaps it is. I'm hoping so. I won't be happy til it takes my computer as long as it takes my LCD tv to come on, which is all of a few seconds.

Flea Bite #12

2009-06-13T22:47:00.001-07:00

Famous last words:
"Hold my beer dude...watch this!"

Good Beer

2009-06-12T12:43:00.000-07:00

At lot has been said about Dogfish Head beer. You can finally get here out west. For a long time, it was only available regionally on the east coast. I have to admit, it's damned good beer. I mean, it's really, really good beer.

I don't usually go gah-gah over craft beer, like most yuppie beer snobs I know. But this is some damned good beer.

A little background about myself and beer. One of my many jobs while in college was that of an assistant brewer at the local brewpub. Yeah, I was the assistant, so I did my share of keg washing, but I was also deeply involved in the beer making process as well as several of the recipes. Before that I brewed beer recreationally at home for years and years. I don't brew now, I just drink it.

With all that said, I pride myself on not being a beer snob. I drink most anything, and hardly ever complain. As a matter of fact, in my fridge right now is four or five Miller Lite (cans even) and one Dogfish Head 90.

Although, I do have my opinions about American craft or regional beer. Most of it is heavy body ales of which I do not like. I'm more of a lighter bodied, lighter malt kind of guy. I like "session" beer. "Session" is term used in the beer industry by brewers usually pertaining to a lighter bodied beer that can be drank all night long, as in, one long session.

I generally buy/drink European beer which tend to be lighter in body, but do not sacrafice taste. Smithwicks, comes to mind. I also really enjoy German lagers that tend to have the same body characteristics.

But, there are exceptions to my anti-American ale boycott, and Dogfish Head is at the top of the list. It's a little too malty for me, but it's still very tasty and quite drinkable, even heavily hopped, such as the 90 version. Not sure how they do it. But, they've done it, and it's wonderful.

If you're in Las Vegas, the only place I've found it so far is at Whole Foods. Bring your checkbook, it's expensive.

Proof reading and editing skills

2009-06-11T10:56:00.001-07:00

My proof reading and editing skills are lacking, to say the least. I'll proof read something I've posted three or four times, then come back the next day and see the most blatant and elementary mistakes in the history of mankind.

So, feel free to comment on any of my mistakes. Also, feel free to comment on my writing skills as well (just remember though, this is still just a blog, so be nice if possible).

TVF

Best Places to Live 2009

2009-06-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, Las Vegas didn't make the list. LOL

Best Places to Live 2009

Ironically, the theme is always the same for these best places to live, the descriptive adjectives are always words like "quaint, lovely, beautiful." Basically, they're all small college towns.*

Don't get me wrong, I like college towns. I lived in small college towns all my adult life until moving to Las Vegas. But, I can say this, those little one horse towns get old fast. And if you're not in bed with one of the "good ole boys" or the senior faculty or the city council (of which, by the way, in these small towns are always full of self-serving small business owners), well, then you're shit out of luck.

Believe me, these small towns are not all they're cracked up to be. Take a look at the list again, in order to live there you need to be well off and educated. But more importantly, enjoy that type of atmosphere. If you're idea of a rockin' Saturday night consists of some fancy coffee drink and some sappy NPR (nat'l public radio) type acoustic act, then one of these towns are all you.

Like I said, I lived in a small college town most of my adult life. The last stint was about 17 years. After I got too old to chase the incoming freshman girls every year, I hated every second of my life there until the day I moved. No, I actually didn't hate my life, I just hated the town and everything about it.

So once again, no thanks. But then again, that's just me.

*I'm going to not lump Austin, TX in this group of boring little college towns. As a musician, I've heard many, many times that Austin is a kick ass town.

Flea Bite #11

2009-06-08T07:08:00.001-07:00

The best sportsbook is the one with the best line.

Who has the best sportsbook? This question is asked over and over and over again on sports betting and Vegas travel websites and message boards. The best book is the one with the best line for your particular wager. Here's what you do: handicap your game, decide on your wager, find the best number at the various sportsbooks in town, go there, place your bet and leave.

Questions about the best sportsbook are usually asked because people are trying to decide where to watch the game. Newsflash: Sportbooks are terrible places to watch the game, any game. At 90% of the sportsbooks in town, you have two seating options. 1) you can sit in a hard backed chair with the grumpy old horseplayers like the photo above, or 2) you and your buddies can sit in one of the individual jr high, schoolhouse chairs, complete with the little attached desk portion. There is rarely any seating at any book that a group of people can slide tables together and socialize.

Newsflash: sportsbooks aren't bars. Casinos really don't want you sitting around, not gambling, trying to scam free drinks for three hours from your 50 dollar bet on a football game.

Besides the horrible seating choices, there are other reasons watching games at sportsbooks suck. One, who wants to be next to some moron who's got the other side of your bet in a 5 dollar, 5 team parlay and wants to yell at every play against your team?? And keeps eyeballing you like he's daring you to say something. Who enjoys that? Not me. Plus, there's all the foot traffic, the smoke and all the other distractions casinos offer.

My advice is, if you're in a group looking for place to watch the game, scope out the other bars and lounge areas on the property you're staying at or any other property for that matter. Or, find a sports bar and call it good.

Trivia Night?? You've got to be kidding me.

2009-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

While on the subject of trivia...

Trivia Night seems to be a big bar attraction in Las Vegas. I'm not kidding. Or at least the proprietors are trying to market it as such. To me, it's a joke. But as usual, that's just me.

"Trivia Night" is almost as bad as karaoke (of which many bars still do in Vegas as well). What's even worse are the "prizes." It's usually a $100 or $50 bar tab. Ohhhhhh-ahhhhhhh....give me a break. For one thing, this is Las fucking Vegas, where it's routine for even the average Joe to throw a C-note into a VP machine, just because he's bored. Newsflash: we don't need free drinks.

Another reason the "prizes" are so lame is the fact that the whole idea of Trivia Night is to get the customers in the bar in the first place (which they do, I'll get into that in a minute). This is all fine, a packed bar on a Tuesday is a good thing for the owners. But then the prize is designed to keep the winners there or to go back from time to time with a non-transferable prize such as a freakin' bar tab, arghhh!

Here's an idea, because the whole freakin purpose of getting anyone into a Las Vegas bar is gaming, how about the prize be cold hard cash?? Are they afraid that the winners might not put the money back into the machines? Or perhaps afraid that they might just take the money and run? Perhaps. But Las Vegans want cash, not coupons for free drinks. We can get "free" drinks anytime we damned well please. Of course, the "free" drink thing seems to be changing, but that's another story,I've touched on it here.

There's already a serious lack of a decent bar scene in Las Vegas, without needing this lame attempt to bring people in.

How about a decent happy hour? How about some live freakin' music for christ's sake? There are tons of great, great bands in Las Vegas (that's actually not true, I should say there are tons of great musicians in Las Vegas). How 'bout this guy? Or this band? Both of these bands are awesome, and deserve some recognition in Las Vegas. They both deserve a full blog write-up, of which I plan to do in the future.

But, to get back to the subject at hand, I think you get my point. Trivia Night??? What thee fuck people, really. This is beyond lame. And, what's crazy is, people are into it. It's weird. The few times I've stumbled into on of these "events" the place has been packed. I don't get it.

I suppose if you don't know what a real bar scene or happy hour is like, something like trivia night might float your boat. My boat however, sinks like a lead ball just thinking about it. I honestly think it has something to do with the fact that the majority of Las Vegas is uneducated. As in, no college. So, to get mentally stimulated in such a way is probably a good thing and probably kind of fun. And before any panties get twisted, remember, this is coming from someone who was the first in his family to go to college, so I'm not all high and mighty about a college degree. It's just that when I try to figure out why it's so popular, I continue to come to the conclusion that that has something to do with it. And coming from a small college town where every drunk at the end of the bar and homeless dude under the bridge has a college degree, to a large city where the majority do not, believe me, I see differences. I'm not saying good or bad, but clearly defined differences.

To be clear, I'm not ragging on people that enjoy Trivia Night (it's hard for me to keep capitalizing it, not sure why I am honestly). To each their own. Believe me, people like it. Take one of my favorite bars for example, McMullan's. To my utter dismay, the place is packed on Tuesday Trivia Night. Which has really, really pissed me off in the past when after a hard days work all I wanted was a quiet bar and a cold beer (of which I usually can find there), when in fact I can't even find a fucking place to park!!

This is just another Las Vegas oddity I probably won't ever understand. Again, I think it's due to the weirdness and physical isolation of Las Vegas itself. Las Vegas is the true definition of the love/hate relationship. Read other local blogs and writers, you'll more than likely find the same feeling about the place.

WSOP....it's on.

2009-05-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well, it's underway..the 2009 World Series of Poker.

For the very first time, I actually know someone personally in one of the events - Poker Grump. Good luck Rakewell!

I'm not a tournament player, so the WSOP really isn't that big of a deal to me. I don't play poker tournaments for a variety of reasons.

Some of the reasons are:

1)I like to get paid when I play a hand correctly.
2)The time spent. There's nothing worse than spending the majority of a day (or days)at a poker table making no money, then only to be eliminated, solidifying the idea of wasting all that time when I could have been making money at a cash game.
3)Even for the professionals, tournaments are a crap shoot. It goes like this: cash, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, cash, lose, lose, lose, lose, cash, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose. No thanks.
4)I like to get paid when I win a hand..oh, I kind of mentioned that already.

Although, one of these years, simply because of the excitement and the fact that I do live in Las Vegas, I'd like to take a shot at one of the $1500 events. Or at the very least, play a small satellite tournament for a shot at an entry fee for one of the events. That ain't happenin' this year, as I'm too busy with work.

Speaking of entry fees, I keep reading all these poker bloggers talking about how many and which events they're going to be entering this year. What I'd like to know is, where the fuck do they get the money for this??? Normal people just don't plunk down thousands of dollars for basically a shot in the dark. To me, you might as well just put 1500 bucks in the Wheel of Fortune slot machine, you have just as good a shot to win some money (not true, I know, but you get my point).

And before anyone gets their panties into knots, I realize that the slot machine/poker tournament is terrible comparison, and that there's a considerable amount of skill involved with poker. But odds of winning a large field poker tournament are very slim, even for the most seasoned pro.

Also, if I had several thousands dollars laying around, it wouldn't be spent on a long shot like a poker tournament, I'd be headed to someplace tropical with a beach or a nice down payment on something physical, such as the new Harley I've had my eye on....but that's just me.

But, with all of that said, I fully realize that entries fees are just part of life for professional poker players. I also know that a seat in any WSOP event is a dream come true to most anyone that plays the game. So, good luck everyone!!

(also, the picture of Jennifer Tilly is obviously not at a WSOP event. I just like the pic, for obvious reasons)

Allman Brothers show review

2009-05-26T07:51:00.001-07:00

Some of my friends accuse me of being a stuck-up Deadhead that can't really appreciate any other bands or different types of music. That assumption is not true, as you can see here and here that I love all kinds of music.

But the fact of the matter is, seeing the Grateful Dead over 100 times does put other live band performances under the microscope for me. Grateful Dead concerts did something to me that's hard to explain. Like most other real Deadheads, their live concerts were almost religious experiences. So, even when the Dead had an off night, to me, the concert was still good.

The Allman Brothers are one of my favorite bands besides the Dead. But after seeing them Sunday night, it's my opinion that they've lost their luster. Sure, they jammed, played their hits (Whipping Post, etc), but the music seemed contrived and soulless.

In my opinion it's due to the fact that A) they kicked Dickey Betts out of the band (see here, mustache/gold Les Paul guitar) and B) they're just too damned old and straight.

First of all, Butch Trucks (drummer) is an asshole. He can't seem to get along with Dickey Betts, one of the founders and musical leaders of the band. Because of that, Betts was asked to leave the band a few years ago. He was replaced by Trucks' nephew (imagine that), Derek Trucks. Now Derek is an unbelievably talented guitar player, a prodigy so to speak, learning to play very well as a child. But, to me, it's soulless, boring guitar. One cannot have the licks and feeling in his playing without the life experiences as someone like Dickey Betts has.

As far as being "too damned old and straight", well, let me explain. Greg Allman is quoted in a recent Rolling Stone article, "It ain't about having a party...that craziness was left somewhere along the line. Then you really get down to playing the music." Well, guess what Greg, because of that your music is boring and uninspired.

Taking into consideration that they still are the fucking Allman Brothers, one of the best bands of all time, I'll give the show a B-. In reality, a C+ is probably more appropriate.

The Allman Brothers Tonight

2009-05-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight, poolside at the Red Rock. Tickets are still available. You'll never get to see these guys in a more intimate setting. Needless to say, I'll be there, up front.

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

2009-05-21T07:28:00.001-07:00

This has been circulating the internet for a while now. If you haven't seen this, click on the link and read the reviews. Classic!!

Link: Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

Flea Bite #12

2009-05-20T08:24:00.001-07:00

There are two temperature settings in Las Vegas: Refrigerate or Bake.

Someone told me this when I first moved here. It stands true. It's either 110 degrees or 45 degrees, nothing in-between.

Backing into parking spots??

2009-05-19T08:00:00.001-07:00

WTF is up with this stupid shit? Really.

This seems to be the thing to do in Las Vegas (and from what I've gathered, southern CA as well).

I'd really like to know what the mentality of this is. What the fuck are these people thinking? Is it so you can get away quicker?? I think that has something to do with it, but if you think about it, it takes equal amount of time to back into a parking spot as it takes to back out of one. Now that I've pondered this for all of 3 seconds, I feel it probably takes more time to back into a parking spot, because most times, these morons are backing into a tight spot between two other vehicles.

Maybe I should explain a couple of reasons why this bothers me. One, I don't want one of these tards backing into my car. Believe me, it's been close in the past, as I've come out of the grocery store or casino only to find a fucking HUGE pickup truck or SUV backed into a parking spot with only inches to spare on either side. And, unfortunately, a few times, my car has been within these few precious inches.

And what's really funny (or pathetic) is that fact that a huge portion of the parking lot is usually empty, so this person could park wherever he/she wanted to. But noooo, this person decides to squeeze into a tight parking spot back-fucking-wards!!

Two; if you read my little bio at the right side of the page or my first post, you'll see that I've worked at several large engineering companies over the years. One protocol for these large corp type companies is defensive driving education for all employees. Of course, this is only about insurance, and has nothing to do with the general well being of their employees, but that's another story.

But in every single one of those defensive driving seminars, written and driving tests I've taken over the years, they stress the fact that you should avoid backing up whenever you can. It makes sense, really. You don't have eyes in the back of your head, simple as that. And the fact that a lot of fender benders occur when drivers are backing up.

So, this backing into parking spot thing in Las Vegas and southern CA has still got me baffled. This subject brings up the question I seem to be asking a lot since I've moved to Las Vegas.

Are you people that dumb??

And unfortunately, I seem to come up with the same answer almost every time I ask this:

Yes.

MIA

2009-05-17T19:41:00.000-07:00

Angus rocks on.

Update...

I've shared my disapproval of bloggers who do not update or post regularly here.

I feel that if someone doesn't update their blog at least once as week, then just end it. Well, I'm two days shy of one week and I'll still apologize.

As I mentioned before, I've started my own business. Fortunately, business is good. I worked six consecutive 11 hour days last week. This is the first time I've booted my computer in about four days.

But, just to assure everyone - this will NOT be the norm - The Vegas Flea will prevail and update his blog at least once a week, if not daily.

You see, the whole idea of a starting my own business is so I'll have more time for myself. Now, before anyone sends me that age old comment of "you'll be married to your business" or any of that bullshit, I just want to remind everyone that yes, I'm working a lot right now, but it's my choice, and I can still basically pick and choose my time slots as I please (which is/was the goal).

So, if you've bookmarked The Vegas Flea blogspot, keep it, as the Flea is still in action!!

Ride On, Bitches...

Slavin' Like a Dog

2009-05-12T07:13:00.001-07:00

Worked 10 hours yesterday, none of which was online or in front of a computer. The rest of the week is going to be more of the same. It's weird, but yet inspiriting to be away from a computer all day.

Although, I'm one of those people that don't really have a problem sitting in front of a PC all day. But that sedentary lifestyle is just not healthy. It'd be nice to find something kind of in-between, but right now that's not happening.

Poker, message board names

2009-05-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

What the hell is up with people using numbers for their handles or names on message boards and on poker sites.

LAME.

Names like ed234234 or dud1234 or SUX69, etc, etc. Come on people, you can't come up with anything original besides your birthday digits or today's date???? Advice: use adjectives.

Here, for all you lame asses:

UncleTerry
AuntJill
SteveTheButcher
JoeTheDonkey
SlimJim
TallSue
MichaelMuck
PencilSteve
BikerJoe

It's not that hard, really.

The only thing worse are those people that use close-ups of their snot-nosed kids in their avatars.

Spring in the desert

2009-05-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, things do grow here, pretty things as a matter of fact. Pics are from my backyard:

The toads are from Cactus Joe's. Cactus Joe's gets the positive endorsement from the Vegas Flea. This place is awesome!! Acres and acres of desert flora, artwork, pottery..you name it. If you go there, bring sunscreen and water - the place is huge.

Flea Bite #11

2009-05-05T21:22:00.001-07:00

You cannot wear the jersey of any professional athlete younger than you are. End of story.

Yep, that's right, it's just not cool to wear a younger dude's jersey, unless of course you're ok with publicly displaying your mancrush on a twenty-something year old.

This rule is not solely mine, and there are exceptions, but I agree with it 100%. I heard this on a talk radio show a few years ago. The exceptions to the rule are; 1) you're female or 2) the player is a family member of yours.

Look guys, it all comes down to who your sports idols were as kids. I think about the players I liked when I was growing up, I had a certain reverence for them. I now think about Lebron James, and tremendously respect his talent, but I'm not infatuated with him, as I was with other sports figures as a child. For one thing, I'm old enough to be his father. As you grow up, you should grow out of this.

Plus, it's just plain cool to see old guys rockin' old school jerseys. An old guy in a Matt Stafford jersey, not so much.

Flea Bite #10

2009-05-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

If you're drinking at a bar or restaurant that hand cleans their glasses in a three sink cleaning system, always ask to use the same glass when ordering another drink or beer.

Why?

Well, if the bartender washes the glasses by hand, in a three sink bar (see image above), you'll always get residue left on the surface of the glass, including the inside.

Let me explain. A three sink bar glass cleaning system consists of three sinks (obviously). The first sink has brushes for cleaning the inside and outside of the glass, this sink also contains some sort of low-suds glass detergent. The next sink is supposedly the "rinse" sink. The third sink and final sink has some sort of sanitizer in the water, this is supposed to "sanitize" the glassware - yeah, right.

I say yeah, right because if you watch a bartender, this three step process is done in about about 3 seconds flat, if that. While all the water is splashed into each and every sink. Lots and lots of water is splashed into the other sinks. For example, the low-suds water of the first sink is distributed to the middle rinse sink, then that water is distributed to the third, sanitizing sink. After a few minutes, all the sinks are have an equal amount of low-suds foam, water and sanitizer in them.

And just think of what's in that first sink. The first sink is where the dirty glasses go first. The dirty glasses are not rinsed prior. So, yep, you got it. Everything that's in a used, dirty drink glass goes into that water, including saliva, lipstick, backwash, etc, etc. All of that ends up in the rinse sink and in the sanitizer sink.

Bartenders don't do this on purpose, it just happens, especially if they're busy. Believe me, I know, I tended bar for a long time.

So then what you end up with is, a nasty chemical and biological film on the surface of the glass. So, guess what you get to drink when that glass is used next? Yep, all of that nasty shit from those three communal sinks, as well as all the saliva, fruit reminiscent, etc present in dirty drink glasses. Yep, that's what's mixed in with your first drink.

Maybe it's just me, but I prefer to drink that nasty concoction only once. Therefore, I request the same glass to be used when I order my next beer or drink.

This scenario is especially bad if the establishment chooses to "chill or freeze" the glasses right after washing. This is downright nasty, people. Anybody that's had a frozen beer glass knows what I'm talking about, they've seen this. If the glass is put into a freezer before drying, you get all that nasty stuff FROZEN into the glass. It becomes thawed only when it's pulled out of the freezer and beer is poured into it, creating, literally, a frozen variety of that nasty fucking bar sink water floating in your glass. Gross.

Competitiveness (Or Lack Thereof)

2009-05-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

It's taken me 39 years to finally figure out that I'm simply not a competitive person. Well, the first ten years or so of my life don't count, so let's say it's taken me 29 years to figure this out. Yeah, that sounds about right, because I started playing little league and was wrestling competitively at age 10 or so.

Now, just to clarify - I'm not one of those soccer mom types that believe all that "everybody's a winner" bullshit. I personally think that attitude is part of the problem in the United States, these people are churning out pussified, self entitled, morons. I firmly believe that if a kid sucks, then the little fucker should sit on the bench and think about the possibility of exploring something else that he/she may be good at. And, that's exactly what happened to me at times, but the thing with me was, and is (I've just discovered), is the fact that I simply didn't care.

And just to make things clear, for those of you that may be thinking this already - I'm no pussy. I wrestled from 3rd grade through 12, then trained with D-1 collegiate wrestlers (although I didn't wrestle in college). I played football from 7th grade through 12. I've been in my share of fights (something I'm not proud of). I'm big dude, not a big giant fat kind of dude (I do have quite the beer gut though, but I'm working on that). I'm just big from lifting weights and playing football when I was younger. But that certainly doesn't make me tough. Although, I firmly believe it keeps me out of trouble a lot of times, if ya know what I mean. Which is cool.

I'm good at many things. I have tremendous hand/eye coordination. I'm an excellent pool player, as well as darts. I ride motorcycles....blah, blah, blah. I do all things "men." You can read more about me here.

But I'm just not a competitive person.

I don't race in my car to the next red light (Something I think is hilarious. How dumb can you be, honestly?). I'm not about excelling at work and climbing the corporate ladder. I'm not about "kicking someones ass" in anything.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a loser. And I'm definitely not self deprecating. I've excelled in everything I've tried in life. I understand, winning is nice. I want to live comfortably. I want to make more money. And if these goals happen to engage in some good sport with another human being, then so be it. But unlike others, I am NOT going to seek it out.

With all of that, one might think I'd make a terrible attorney or poker player. The prior, definitely yes, as I have nothing to prove to society. The later, not so much. One might think lack of competitiveness equates to terrible poker. Poker is a game of patience, knowledge and skill, all of which I possess. I'm also a chameleon around others, which helps my game as well. I don't need to get my dick out, all passive/aggressively, as most poker players do, using the game as some sort of equalizer to all who picked on them as children.*

Honesty, trying not to sound too hippy-dippy, I'm just here for the party. I just want to have a good time while on this earth. Why stress yourself out over what 99% of the time turns out to be nothing? I don't understand people.

*This subject will definitely be a blog post someday. I just need to get my thoughts together on it.

Blogging in a timely manner

2009-05-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

I hate bloggers that don't post in somewhat of a timely manner. I'm sure there's an unwritten (or written rule) somewhere, but I think if you don't at least update your blog once a week, then just end it. Even still, I generally don't read blogs that aren't updated at least every few days.

So, I've noticed it's been almost a week since I posted last. My apologies.

I do have an excuse though. I've started my own small business. Yes, the real deal, complete with city and county licenses, insurance, marketing, etc, etc, etc. So, that's what I've been busy with this week. That's my excuse.

I do have something I want to share though, I will update soon.....stay tuned.

TVF

The Neighbor's Garbage

2009-04-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

To preface, I'm certainly no hardcore environmentalist. For one thing, I live in Las Vegas, so that should tell you something. But, I do however, recycle, try to use less energy when possible, and generally try to "go green" whenever or wherever I can. I do these things for a variety of reasons. Of course there's my conscience, but believe that feeling in my conscience comes from the fact that I'm an intelligent enough human being to know that conservation isn't just some yuppie/hippie/liberal thing to do. I realize that we should at least try, for the sake of humanity.

But not my neighbors. Nooooooo. The mountains of garbage piled in front of their house on weekly, sometimes bi-weekly basis is absolutely staggering. The picture above is almost accurate. I'm not kidding. Every other week or so, they drag out can after can after can of waste. It's absolutely unbelievable. The pile is usually comparable in volume to a full-sized SUV.

I don't know them that well, enough to say "hi' to the parents. The teenagers won't talk to me, which is both annoying and little scary (because quite frankly, I don't trust teenagers and I'd be much happier and feel much safer if I were on speaking terms with them, but oh well). But what I do know is, there are two adults and at least two teenagers living in the house. There may be three teenagers, but I suspect one of them might be a boyfriend or girlfriend.

It's jaw-dropping to see the sheer amount of garbage these people can accumulate in one week. I honestly don't know how they do it, financially, conscienously or physically. I'm not sure how they do it financially because in order to have waste, don't you need to be consuming stuff? Conscienously, well, I guess I do understand that one. They clearly neither care or...well, my guess is they just don't give a shit. And, finally, physically...I'm still baffled as to how 4 or 5 people can accumulate enough garbage to fill a small school bus on a weekly basis.

Good fucking god......

Lack of a bar scene in Las Vegas

2009-04-24T11:42:00.001-07:00

Cheers anyone?

One thing I miss about my small little shithole college town in the northern Rocky Mtns where I used to live, is the bars. Everyday around 4 or 5 pm, college students, faculty, professionals, bikers, bums, constructions workers, etc would converge downtown to one of the several fun little drinking establishments. It was great. It was a chance to unwind, talk to friends, and generally have a good time.

I've only been here a few years, but I've yet to find anything even close to this in Las Vegas. Yeah, there are a few that claim as such, but nothing genuine. A packed yuppie place like the Kona Grill or any of the fake, pretentious establishments in Town Square, don't count. Although, one can be fooled at first, such was I. Thinking, "Hey, I found it!" Only to quickly discover that the clientele are as plastic as the valet signs out front.

One of the big problems is, there are just too damned many of those shitcan chain "gaming bars" all over town. If you live here or have ever driven away from the Strip, you'll notice they're fucking everywhere (I'm not going to mention any names, because, well fuck them, they're part of the problem). I'm talking, every other block. Being a bar guy and a drinker, when I first moved here I was thinking, cool, bars everywhere. But, these places are dead 90% of the time. As in, you walk into any one of these places any time of the day or night, and it's going to be you, two other dudes and the bartender.

It's obvious that some people choose these places as "their" bar, but it's not for me. There might be a few regulars in these places, but most of the time it's stragglers coming in and out, anytime of the day or night. And definitely no happy hour crowd. There's also the Cat and Mouse problem with these places, that also turns me off.

You see, I'm a conversationalist. I'm a Cheers type of bar guy. Not necessarily Cliff, but I'd say I'm a cross between Sam, Carla and Norm, with a bit of Diane thrown in there simply because I went to college. And maybe even a bit of Fraiser because, after all, you can only talk about college football for so long, and I happen to like good wine.

So, when I go to the bar, I want to talk. I want to meet new people. I want to visit with old friends. I want to know how a person's day went. I want to be able to unload on somebody about my shitty day. You get the point. Or sometimes, I may want to just stare at the tv for a while, but I'd like to be in good company and at least have an opportunity to have a semi-intelligent conversation if I feel like it.

Ironically, I just had a conversation about this very thing with a bartender the other day, and he brought it up! When bartender mentions the lack of a bar scene, you know it's bad.

I think I know why it is the way it is around here; there's too many damned gaming bars, lack of educated professionals who keep regular working hours, lack of regular working hours for anyone in Las Vegas (this is Las Vegas after all). I'm sure the list could be longer, but that's just a few reasons off the top of my head.

It doesn't help any that I live in the west side of the valley. The majority of this cookie cutter area is spotted with cookie cutter gaming bars. There's also a lack of diversity of people out here (west valley), which compounds the problem. I'm not opposed to blue collar joints or biker bars or even the occasional yuppie place. But I prefer a place that has a mix of everyone, an eccentric kind of joint, if you will.

If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment. But, believe me, I've tried most of the places here on the west side and have been disappointed. Although, there's one place I patronized for the first couple of times last week that I think I may like.

Random Thoughts on Fatness

2009-04-22T20:27:00.001-07:00

I just want to preface this with that fact that I have many larger friends. I could lose 20 or 30lbs myself. But if you're going to be overweight, then here are some rules to live by.

1. Your wife cannot be heavier than you.
2. If your girl is struggling with her weight in her early 20's, you're going to have a HUGE wife someday (same with guys).
3. Fat women should not have short hair.
4. Fat guys should not have long hair. Nothing worse than the fat hippy lookin' dude with the huge gut, tye-dye and ponytail.
5. A fat woman's belly roll cannot be larger than her breasts. You know what I'm talking about.

Flea Bite #10

2009-04-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

You can't just "pick" a team.

As in, either you're an alumni of the college sports team you support or you're from the city of the professional sports team you're a fan of. No exceptions. End of story. Sorry if you grew up in North Dakota.

I get into this with plenty of people all the time. There are enough arguments for the other side on this one, for sure. But the fact of the matter is, the true, deep-down emotional attachment will not be there in the end, if you don't fall into one of those two categories.

The nature and content of this blog

2009-04-21T08:32:00.001-07:00

This blog has been in my mind for over two years (longer than that actually, it's just that I seriously started considering it about two years ago). With a blog though, questions arise.

First, what's the blog going to be about? Well, this blog is intended to get a glimpse of an unconventional thinking Las Vegas local.

This includes a variety of topics, such as reviews, poker, music, living in Las Vegas, and random thoughts and ideas on the world around me with Flea Bites. It's a broad range of topics, I know, but I'm ok with that and hope that's ok with the readers.

But the question now is, how far am I going to take this blog as far as political correctness and/or socially acceptable content? I've currently got a list of topics I want to talk or joke about, but I'm at risk of pissing some people off, or pissing whole groups of people off (including some friends). Just for the record, I'm not talking about porn here or even stories about someone getting their dick sucked in the backroom of the OG, or anything remotely close to that (well...maybe, occasionally).

I'm more referring to commenting on people's lifestyle choices, career choices, some occasional gender jokes....stuff like that. For example, I've started a blog post entitled "People that suck", it's a work in progress (the list is long).

I've pretty much decided that I've got to do it. If not, then what's the point of this blog. So, fair warning everyone.

But please just remember, before you send hate mail, refer to the disclaimer on the right side of the page. Also, please keep in mind that most of what I post will be in jest, and not intended to attack anyone personally. But, generalizing...well, sorry....that's fair game!

2009 Las Vegas Celtic Gathering & Highland Games

2009-04-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I attended one of the coolest events since I've lived here. It was the Las Vegas Celtic Gathering and Highland Games at Floyd Lamb Park. Not only was the event very cool, but Floyd Lamb Park also kicks ass.

Being of Irish (mother's side) and Welsh (father's side) decent, I was naturally drawn to the event. But, I have to admit, this was a first for me. Of course, Irish and English bars draw me in, such as my local haunts the Crown and Anchor* and McMullan's (with McMullan's being my favorite), but this was the first real Celtic festival I've attended.

I'm sure there are better Celtic events around the country, I'm sure more are authentic (or whatever you measure something like this by), but the one in Las Vegas was great. Great music, great food, great entertainment and great sport. As well as one of the hidden gems of Las Vegas - Floyd Lamb Park. Below are some pictures, enjoy.

The Gathering:

The Park:

* This is despite the advice from my brother: "No self-respecting Welshman would hang out in a bar with the Cross of St. George in the logo."

Flea Bite #9

2009-04-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

"I love being alive and I will be the best man I possibly can. I will take love wherever I find it and offer it to everyone who will take it. . . seek knowledge from those wiser and teach those who wish to learn from me." - Duane Allman

Now THIS is what I'm talkin' about!!

2009-04-15T10:23:00.001-07:00

While posting Flea Bite #8, I couldn't find any pictures of the type of biker chicks I was trying to describe. Some readers made some valiant efforts, trying to find the right picture, but to no avail.

So, I dug out my shoebox full of Sturgis pictures, and wha-la, I found one!! The picture above is what I was looking for!!

Flea Bite #8

2009-04-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

"Don't ever go to a titty bar without any money."

This was said to me on stage while performing at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in Sturgis, SD, several years ago.

A grizzled old biker chick, complete with tube-top and prison tattoos, approached the stage and asked,

"You boys take tips?"

I said, "Sure!"

That statement was her tip. Words to live by.

(side note: I tried for the life of me to find an image of the old biker chick I described earlier and to my dismay, could not find one. You go to any biker bar or motorcycle rally and every other woman looks like this - and I can't find a picture on the internet?? Go figure. So, if anyone could help me, I'd be gratefully dedicated to your service for all of eternity)

My Restaurant Crutch

2009-04-13T09:20:00.000-07:00

Among the million other jobs I've had in my lifetime, I spent a considerable amount of time in the service industry - bartender, cook, waiter, dishwasher, and even a brewer (beer). This experience is actually a crutch when I go out to eat (and I got out to eat a lot). You can read more about me here.

This is because I concentrate on whats going on around me in the restaurant way too much. Often times I can't relax with my S.O. or friends, especially when the waitress is bad or there's an issue with the food, seating, drinks, etc, etc, etc, etc.

I'm not highly critical of the restaurant and staff, I like to think I'm highly observant. Little things bother me that 99% of most people wouldn't even notice.

Example: A waitress brings out two plates, she warns "Careful, this one is hot." Well, unless it's Mexican food that's been put under a heat lamp to melt cheese, our order got fucked up. Because, more than likely the cooks fucked something up and had to let one plate sit in the window forever and get hot, while the other item was being prepared (timing is everything while cooking, all plates should come up at the same time for every ticket). Or, the waitress fucked something up by not telling the cooks something or forgot to put an order in, etc.

Because of my experiences in the service industry, I know what's going on at any moment with the waitstaff or bartenders, and sometimes even in the kitchen (although, I most likely have to speculate here, as I'm not physically back there. But often times, it's not that hard to figure out).

With that, my biggest peeve is when the staff assumes you're an idiot and lies to your face. Example, "Oh...I'm sorry, the cooks messed up", when I know damned well the waitress/waiter didn't put the second ticket in - because I was WATCHING!

That's only once example of the lying to "cover your ass" thing while waiting tables. This is a bad habit that servers develop over time. I could cite a million more examples. The thing of it is, you really shouldn't do it, as you never know who you're talking to. This also hold true in any customer service industry type job, including casino dealers (my take on dealers in this town, and in general for that matter, will be whole other blog or series of blogs, I'm afraid).

Back to the restaurant issues, specifically a couple of my favorite dishes. I have two food items that I have problems with all the time in restaurants: steak and poached eggs.

I like my steak somewhere between medium and medium rare. I cannot eat raw flesh, so, in order to try to keep things on the cooked side, I always order medium. But, this creates a problem because it's either too rare or too done. I know, I know...I'm whining, but listen, I used to cook at a fairly upscale (at least the menu price) steak house, and you can get the temperature of a steak fairly close with little effort, even when you're slammed (ie; busy). Once again, I'm burdened with my unfortunate wealth of service industry knowledge (maybe I should have stuck with landscaping....hmmmm).

Another one. I like eggs benedict for breakfast. But, I don't like nasty, runny eggs. So, therefore I order my poached eggs "well." From my cooking experiences, I know that poaching an egg "well" is about the easiest thing to do in the world. You just simply leave the egg in the boiling water for longer than you normally would. There is no way to fuck this up. Problem is, poached eggs are normally not ordered "well" and most $9 hr crackheads back in the kitchen don't know what to do when this is ordered OR the dumb bitch waitress has never heard of this before and just ignores the request when she puts the order in. (I hope you can sense the tension there, as this one really irks me).

With all of that said, most of the time, I let most things go, try to ignore the issues, eat my food (as long as it's edible) and try to relax. I almost never make a scene. I do this in order to not make my company uncomfortable, but most importantly, I know what it's like to work there and to be on the receiving end. There are better ways of handling a problem other than causing a scene at the table. But there is a rule one must never forget.

The number one rule is: NEVER SEND FOOD BACK.

Take it from someone that was in the industry for years - again, do NOT send food back to the kitchen. If you don't like it or there's a problem, don't eat it and ask for the manager on your way out. And if you're not satisfied after that, don't go back there, spread the word on your blog and message boards that that restaurant sucks huge donkey choad, or whatever you need to do. The reason for this is:

COOKS FUCK WITH YOUR FOOD - end of story, fact, real, it happens, no lie, I shit you not, no kidding, etc, etc.

You know, with that comment aside (snicker, snicker), the real problem about having a bad dining experience isn’t about the money - it's about the experience. If you've had a bad experience, your night could very well be ruined if you let it. At least for the entire time you're there. It's just awful when you're out to eat and things get horribly fucked up. People are tense, nobody's happy (including the staff), the whole thing just sucks ass. The restaurant can give you your money back, but nothing is going to change the horrible evening. Especially if you're out trying to celebrate something special, you're on a date or whatever. It's never good.

So, if you've never worked in a restaurant, consider yourself lucky. If you've never been there, continue to enjoy yourself and your friends at your favorite restaurant or bar. Pay no mind to the staff, keep contact with them to an acceptable minimum and have a good time.

But just one thing though, I wasn't kidding about food being sent back to the kitchen - don't ever do it, trust me.

(The picture is from the movie Waiting, which was a little disappointing. It really didn't depict the real scenario of what it's like to work at a place Fridays or Chili's...or wherever, you name it, they're all the same. Although, the movie does come close at times. It fails however, because it exaggerates certain things to the point of hokiness. But the disgruntled waitress character pictured above was spot on. At every restaurant I've ever worked, there was always someone that was pissed off all the time - at everyone and everything. BTW - this is my take on disgruntled service industry people.)

Navigating the Masses

2009-04-10T16:11:00.001-07:00

Yes, it's true, Las Vegas tourism is down some 23% from last year. But the fact is, the Strip and most casinos are still crowded.

After lunch with Grump on Wednesday, I had some "advantage" player errands to run on the strip. Advantage meaning nothing more than trying my luck with some match play coupons I had. It turned out well, but that's another story.

So, having lunch mid strip, I decided to walk to the various locations (casinos) I needed to get to. Nothing was too far away, Planet Hoo was a bit of a walk, being the furthest south of my destination. But nothing too bad, plus I can always use the exercise.

Now after attending hundreds of concerts, sporting events, and even visiting Las Vegas many, many times before moving here, I think I know how to navigate through a crowd. I'm usually solo, so I can weave, dart and duck around the most crowded of crowds with ease. But sometimes I run into some obstacles.

I realize that the Las Vegas Strip is tourist central, and all there are on vacation, leisurely strolling, checking out the sights and sounds. I respect that, as that's what I like to do when on vacation. But that doesn't mean you lose all common sense (I wonder if some people have any to begin with - I usually lean towards NO).

But when on vacation, or in any crowded place for that matter, you have to remember that there are people walking behind you!!!

Arggggghhhhh. This shit pisses me off to no end. You don't just decide that you going to stop in the middle of the sidewalk or in the middle of a main thoroughfare of a casino floor. The worst is the group of like 15 people that decides they'll stop in middle of the sidewalk to stand there for 20 some odd minutes to decide where they're going to have dinner that night.

Look, it's a simple concept - if you're gonna stop to chat, just move off to the side in one direction or another, just a couple of steps to the left or to the right will be sufficient.

And, it's not just me (the local Flea that has all the time in the world, but feels like he has to race from casino to casino just so his 5 dollar match play bet seems worth his time - lol, but true), no it's not just me. It's other people on vacation as well. You can see it in the faces. They're thinking "WTF?!?!" as they try to navigate around the Miller family from Nebraska that's decided to take up the whole sidewalk to discuss where they're gonna stuff their cornholes that night.

It comes down to ignorance and selfishness, really, a combination of both I think.

All and all, I can forgive the occasional midwestern tourist family for not thinking about such things as being polite and moving off to the side. But I cannot forgive the random CASINO EMPLOYEE that dilly-dallying around, completely in the way, with no hurry whatsoever, as they're at work and getting paid be the hour. You know, the random slot tech, security guard (I'll give them some slack here, it is their job to mosey around), cigarette butt sweeper guy...etc.

These people know better, and it's obvious they just don't give a fuck. They're resentful anyway. They're at work, we're on vacation (or in my case, not at work). That's what really pisses me off, that fact that they know better and are making conscious choices to not give a rats ass who they're in the way off.

But after attending 100+ Grateful Dead concerts, I can still navigate through the thickest of crowds with little effort. But please people, if your uncle Bill wants to stop and chat in the middle of the sidewalk, gently grab his elbow and move the conversation off to the side.

Thanks.

Lunch with the Grump

2009-04-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

I had a nice visit and lunch with a fellow blogger - The Poker Grump yesterday. A pleasant conversation about cars, guns, cops and poker. Ahhh....it's good to be a guy sometimes!

Flea Bite #7

2009-04-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Guys, leave the ladies at home.

Seriously. Vegas is the perfect vacation destination for a group of guys or groups of girls, but not both. I'm not saying Las Vegas can't be a couples destination, it certainly can. But if you're male and under 40 years of age, you're gonna have a much better time without the OL, believe me.

Especially if it's your first visit or first few visits to town. Encourage the ladies to get together and come at a different time. To be clear, I'm not suggesting any sort of adultery. Guys have a much better time in this town with just the guys. It's a simple fact. Let's see, there's sports betting, golf, poker, titty bars, cigars, steaks, exotic cars, etc, etc.

I know that most couples try to make it work. They do the whole, "We'll meet tonight for a show" compromise. Well, the guys run off to do their thing, and when tonight rolls around after an afternoon of male bonding debauchery, the very last thing they're thinking about is a goddamned show, believe me. They're thinking about the titty bar or more poker or watching the game that they have 300 bucks on, not KA.

I see it all the time, especially younger couples. The guys eyes are wandering this way or that. Or I'll see couples fighting and arguing. It's especially bad if you're here with a group and there's one or two dudes that brought their girlfriends.

Don't ever be that guy.

I'm not saying that Las Vegas can't be enjoyed with your significant other. It certainly can. As everyone knows there are tons of great restaurants, shows and things to do, that can keep couples of any age occupied and entertained. But, I only suggest this after you've been here once or twice with your buddies. And, I also suggest doing it alone, as in no other couples, just you and her. This eliminates the temptations I spoke of earlier, with the guys doing one thing and the girls doing the other. That will just lead to resentment from someone at one point or another.

Trust me.

The Palms

2009-04-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

First Vegas Flea endorsement. The Palms. Right now the Palms is probably my favorite property in Las Vegas. It has everything; good food, good music (The Pearl is my favorite venue in Las Vegas), good poker, good sportsbook, hot female talent, competent dealers and staff, nightclubs (not my thing, but still cool), etc, etc. I could go on and on.

It's also not right on the strip, so for me (as well as most other locals), it's easy in, easy out. And it's technically not owned by a huge corporation. Although, I'm sure that could be debated as the Maloof's own a bunch of shit, including the Sacramento Kings. But still, subjective decisions (such as comps) can be made by the staff, without having to look at the black and white rule book like the Harrahs and MGM properties.

One aspect of the Palms that I really like is the fact that they cater to locals, but also cater to celebrities. I think that is cool as hell. Example; you can be playing poker downstairs with the local nits, and Hugh Hefner could be upstairs hangin' with his ladies, as was the case three nights ago.

I don't want to give anybody the wrong idea, I'm not one of those star struck people. I do not go to the Palms looking to get a glimpse of a celebrity. My point is, I think it's cool that the place caters to both normal humans and celebrity type beings (aliens or otherwise).

Well done, George. Keep it up.

Flea Bite #6

2009-04-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

There are two types of people in Las Vegas. Us and Them. If you live here and don't know which one you are, or what I'm talking about, you're definitely one of Them.

More band lists

2009-04-03T13:43:00.000-07:00

Since I'm on a music kick these days and posted the band list the other day, as well as those two kickass videos of the Allman Brothers and The Band, I got to thinkin...

Bands you'd think I wouldn't like, but do:
-Kid Rock
-The Bee Gees
-Journey
-Styx

Bands that I kick myself for never have seen live:
-Ozzy Osborne
-any Beatle
-Pink Floyd
-Rush
-Van Halen
-Iron Maiden

Bands you'd think I'd like, but don't:
-Phish (the multiple reasons I don't like Phish will be an entire post someday)
-U2
-Dave Matthews
-Leftover Salmon, String Cheese....I hate all of that slamgrass crap
-Bruce Springsteen (I bought his new album the other day because of the great reviews. I listened to it once and thought, "What was I thinking?" Although, I hear his live shows are great. I'd go see him if the situation was right.)

Genres of music I try to like, but can't:
-White Boy Blues. I try to like white guy blues, but just can't. You know, the various blues guitarist prodigies such as Kenny Wayne Shephard, shit like that. And, yes, even Stevie Ray Vaughn. Look, you can only do that turn around so many times in so many ways. It gets old -fast.
-New Metal. You know, bands like Mastodon. I want to like them, I really do. I try. But this new fucked up screaming vocal thing, I just don't get. It really sucks honestly.

Genres of music that I simply hate:
-Grundge. Hated it in the 90's. Hate it now. It sucks, sorry.
-Newer Punk. I compare punk music to abstract painting. The premise here is, you can't be an abstract painter unless you can master the basics first. What I'm getting at is...learn to play your fucking instruments before forming a band.
-Alternative/Emo. Alternative to what? I had to ask a friend what "Emo" was just the other day, I had no idea. After he told me, my response was, "Oh, that crappy music?"

Yep, don't get no better than this...

2009-04-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well...maybe it does

Bands I've seen

2009-03-31T16:14:00.000-07:00

I've always said, you can really get a good feel for a person by the music they listen to. This list will either increase or decrease readership. Either way, I'm ok with it. Comments welcome.

THE LIST:
Red Hot Chile Peppers
AC/DC
Jimmy Barnes
White Snake
Motley Crue
ZZ Top (2)
David Lee Roth
Steve Vai
Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Grateful Dead (117)
Allman Brothers (2)
Phish
Blues Traveler (3)
Widespread Panic (4)
Bob Dylan
Steve Miller (6)
The Wailers (2)
Ben Harper
Beach Boys
Crosby, Still and Nash (2)
Little Feat (2)
Santana (2)
Paul Rogers
Lynyrd Skynyrd (2)
The Dallas Moore Band
Ratdog
Col. Bruce Hampton and the Aquarian Rescue Unit
Rolling Stones
Living Color
Fugazi
Johnny Paycheck
Metallica
The Marshall Tucker Band
Huey Lewis
Chuck Berry
Sting
The Violent Femmes
George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars
Steely Dan
Wilco
The Jerry Garcia Band (8)
Mickey Hart and Planet Drum
The Other Ones
Phil Lesh and Friends
Dark Star Orchestra
Jimmy Cliff
Black Uruhu
Burning Spear
The Dead Milkmen
Godsmack
The Band
Bruce Hornsby
Bella Fleck
Rob Zombie
Edie Brickell
Dwight Yoakum
Galactic
The Mother Hips
Koko Taylor
Hot Tuna
Jeff Healey
Big Head Todd and the Monsters
Al Green
BB King
Willie Nelson
Peter Frampton
Doobie Brothers
Brian Setzer Orchestra
Matt Guitar Murphy
Koko Taylor
David Grissman Quartet
Blues Traveler (3)
Misfits
Motorhead
Earth, Wind and Fire
Hank III
Further
Jonny Lang

Please note that this list mainly contains national acts (at one time or another) and does not include the hundreds, if not thousands of local bands I've seen or jammed with over the years.

Flea Bite #5

2009-03-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

Putting up with bullshit.

It happens as we get older. I think there's a pinnacle around our age (of not putting up with it), then as mortality sets in, we become more complacent. As in, we decide to just put up with the bullshit as we grow old, while using excuses like "life is too short" to justify our pussification.

Penn and Teller fucking rule, btw. Great Vegas show at the Rio. And their show "Bullshit", on Showtime I believe, is also very, very good.

Flea Bite #4

2009-03-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

Never confuse kindness for weakness.

hand histories - no one cares

2009-03-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Really, no one cares. Stop posting your 19 page hand histories on message boards and blogs. Newsflash: no one reads them.

Sorry, maybe your friends do. My guess is, most people don't. I don't, that's for sure. Who wants to decipher through all of that mumbo-jumbo? I don't really want to get into it, that's just how I feel.

On a side note, this is the third poker related post in a row. Just coincidence, as this blog is not intended to be a poker related blog, as there are umpteen million of them out there. And, I'm proud to say that I'm a regular reader of two (and yeah, they post hand histories every now and then, it's not a perfect world). However, I do play from time to time, so I will post about it, because I certainly have my opinions about the game, and in particular the games played in and around Las Vegas.

With that said though, I doubt I'll ever get into poker theory on here, or opinions on certain hands, pot-odds and other paradoxical or ad finitum debates such as those. I'll stick to bitching about more general things I hate about the game I love, such as poker rooms, people, etc. Because, after all, poker theory has been beat to death 100x over. That's another reason hand histories bother me. We've all seen it and/or been there.

I'm sure many will disagree. I can also see myself regretting even bringing it up. As with anything poker related, everyone has an opinion, as poker players seem to be the most opinionated bunch, ever. And they're not very nice to one another as well - go figure...lol, when the object of the game is to screw everyone else at the table.

What's in a name? Hilarious alternatives to common Texas Hold'em hole cards.

2009-03-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

I found this at allvegaspoker.com. I couldn't stop laughing. This is great stuff!! Classic. Enjoy.

(copied with permission by Dmuz75)

Whats In A Name?

Big Slick, Pocket Rockets, Snowmen. We all know the names of the big hands. In fact, is seems it is almost a donkey's rite of passage to not only be familar with all the nicknames of the starting hands of hold 'em, but to go ahead and shout them out whenever someone tables them, as if to say, " I'm so awesome at this game, I even know the names!" Of course, any no name, micro-limt, sunglasses and Ipod wearing wanna be grinder can tell you that two Jacks are Fishhooks, but what about those little known aliases? Well, folks, have no fear. Dmuz is here to help you impress your donktastic home game players with the top ten little known hold'em hand nicknames.

1. The German Speedo (8-3 offsuit)
Anyone who has spent time at a hotel or vacation spot inundated with German Tourists know that German men love Speedos, regardless of the amount of Bratwurst and Heinikens their soft white underbellies have consumed. This vision, like this hand, is very scary.

2. The Karen Carpenter (A-2 Offsuit)
Like the famous deceased singer herself, this hand looks good in the beginning, but in the end, it is drawing way too thin.

3. The Jersey Girl (Q-2 of clubs)
Been to Jersey? Then you know this girl. Big hair, big mouth, but not much upstairs. Just like this hand, if you play with it, you'll wake up in the morning regretting it.

4. The Brooklyn Guido (K-5 offsuit)
A wanna be gangster of a hand. Reminds me of every uncle and cousin I have back in New York. Thinks he's the King of the Five Boroughs (K-5, get it?) However, he is easily dominated by anyone else with a better car... Or an Ace.

5. The Gay Actor (J-9 suited)
Even though it can be a straight, it never makes it all the way to Broadway and gets out flushed easily.

6. The Virgin Finder (6-9, any suits)
Wanna know who at your table has yet to join the fraternity of Eye Felta Boobie? It's the pimple faced, Wizard of Warcraft reject who snickers whenever he has this hand.

7. The Ron Jeremy (10-10)
You think that your hand is huge, until someone shows a bigger, John Holmes like hand (i.e Kings), and then you realize that 10's might be impressive, but you still have a hairy back.

8. The Jenna Jameson (9-9)
It's pretty, it sucks, and you'll just end up taken a shot in the face with it if you're up against The Ron Jeremy (see #7).

9. The MPitts (A-10 offsuit)
MPitts favorite hand,and like him, it sucks.

10. Dmuz75 Killer(10 spades- 5 diamonds)
This hand is pure evil. Whenever you check it out of the big blind,you will flop the 2nd nut full house with it(the board will read: 5h, 10d, 5c) and push all in on the turn and be eliminated from the 2006 WSOP late in the first day by some donk ass who slow played pocket 10's on the button with four limpers in the pot. Ok, maybe that only happens to me, but it's still a shitty hand.

Some AVP members keep ongoing blogs of sorts in the message boards at allvegaspoker.com. Dmuz75 is one of them. You can find his blog here:

The Vegas Flea

The Flea is back kids...

***MESSAGE FROM THE FLEA***

The MWC Shuffle, Regarding Wyoming and the Other Scrubs

Wise Old Man? Not Always

Largest Beetle in North America

Message Board Junky

Record Lows – Ouch

Disappointed with the Blues…….

Bad Attitudes

Odd Man Out

Buying a Car? New or Used?

Flea Bite #20

Flea Bite #19

Baseball Sucks

My Job in Rock and Roll

Undisputed Kings of Metal

I'm Done.

Deadhead Corner.....Further 3/5/10, Broomfield, CO - Review

Deadhead Corner - Off to see Further

Gambling Topics You Won't Hear on the Travel Channel

A new look at NASCAR

Flea Bite #18

Flea Bite #17

Flea Bite #16

Flea Bite #15

Songs in My Head

Flea Bite #14

Poor bartending skills

I hate telephones - all of them

CIgarette butts....come on people

Garth Hudson

Definition of Cool

Brrrrrr........

Deadhead Corner - DSO News

I'm fired (again)

Shake Weight for Men

Deadhead Corner - DSO

WSOP November 9 - Winner

Clean toilets....in public, on vacation?? No way.

I'm too nice.

The Snub

Controlled Aggression

I'm fired

Flea Bite #13

Hot August Nights

History of the Goatee

Email Etiquette

Lame Las Vegas gaming bars

Flea Bite #12

Hair

Local Video Poker Success and Failure

NASCAR - My Take

Amateurs

Las Vegas Weather

Fax Machines....It's not 1985 anymore people.

Ahhh.....the anonymity of the internet

Computer Start-up Time

Flea Bite #12

Good Beer

Proof reading and editing skills

Best Places to Live 2009

Flea Bite #11

Trivia Night?? You've got to be kidding me.

WSOP....it's on.

Allman Brothers show review

The Allman Brothers Tonight

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

Flea Bite #12

Backing into parking spots??

MIA

Slavin' Like a Dog

Poker, message board names

Spring in the desert

Flea Bite #11

Flea Bite #10

Competitiveness (Or Lack Thereof)

Blogging in a timely manner

The Neighbor's Garbage

Lack of a bar scene in Las Vegas

MESSAGE FROM THE FLEA